Five for Fighting
by Antique Orange
Summary: In life everyone has a challenge to face: A crippling accident, An unrequited love, The feeling of not belonging, it's how we handle these challenges that makes us who we are.
1. ONE

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own no original characters of the S.E. Hinton books however I made up Amber all by myself )

A/N: I'm going through this story and fixing all the things that always bothered me. Some content has changed, but mostly for the sake of continuity or realism. Unfortunately (or fortunately, whatever your view might be), this story is what it is, a Curtis sister fic. Just a heads up.

O.N.E.

Considering this is for school and all, I'm going to attempt to put it all into my best English so that I can get a good grade and pass Sophomore English. I'm supposed to write this composition to make up for all the work I missed, coming into school late in the semester. My teacher is making me write an account of my first month or so in Tulsa,

I heard he made my brother do something like this once to keep him from failing the semester after he'd gotten into some trouble and his grades slipped. Being that our older brother would whoop us good if we failed, our teacher is pretty used to getting these from my family by now I suppose. I never heard another kid having to do one of these though, maybe he just has it in for us, or maybe he finds us interesting. I suppose my origin could be of some interest to some folks, but the weeks that followed didn't seem like anything to write home about, but I don't want to fail so here I go, starting from the beginning would be best, my reasons for coming to Tulsa…

I fumbled with the rusty latch of the gate, praying that anyone inside the small gray house badly in need of a paint job did not see me falter. I could see no sign of activity in the house and picked my way across the cracked sidewalk and up the wooden steps to the makeshift front porch facing the screen door and a thicker panel door, the two tangible items that stood between me and my past. My fear was not tangible, nor would I recognize it or give it a chance to appear fully, smothering it by biting my lip, but it was there and given the chance it would turn me around and send me back from where I came from, or erupt onto the sidewalk, a mixture of lunch and nerves. But I had no intention of leaving now or losing my lunch and so the only choice was forward, I could not avoid it nor did I want to. I knocked on the door jamming one hand into the left pocket of my thick winter coat to finger the piece of paper that was folded inside. The sharp folded edges and the raised emblem assured me of my reasons to be there. No answer. I knocked again a little more loudly realizing that the first knock wasn't much more than a tap and heard muffled,

"I'm comin'!"

The door was yanked open and I found myself face to face with a boy around the age of seventeen or so, best I could figure. He was a good-looking boy, which sounds conceded once I mention the fact that there was a definite resemblance between us.

The boy at the door had the same finely drawn face as me and the same complexion, though his hair was darker than mine, a dark gold that set off his eyes where as mine is more gold with a mixture of red, loose curls that fall down my back. His hair hung longer than a lot of boys I knew, but from the boys I saw gathered around a gas station I had passed on my way to this house, longer hair was the style here.

My throat closed as if forbidding me to speak and instead I stared at the boy in front of me, he sure was handsome, I couldn't stop looking at him. Yet I wasn't attracted to him, not in that heart throb way - though I would be lying to say my heart wasn't pounding. Another boy appeared behind him, younger and with hair more the color of mine and eyes to match - greenish gray, his were more gray, mine more green but they were cut from the same material if you know what I mean.

"Who is it Soda?" the younger one asked.

They both stared at me for the answer, of course. But could I give it to them? Would they even believe me?

"Amber…my name is Amber…Amber July Curtis" I tried to pull my hand out of my pocket with the piece of paper, my birth certificate marking my date of birth as six months prior making me fifteen and my parents as Robin and Darrel Curtis.

The two boys watched me fumble while another boy called to them from inside to shut the door, they weren't paying to heat the neighborhood.

It sure was cold outside, maybe that's why my fingers were so numb and not working.

I handed the older boy, Soda, the folded paper. Carefully, so as not to rip the aged and worn-out document he unfolded it, keeping one eye on what he was doing, the other on me.

The younger boy was staring at me unsure of what to do, clearly he thought I was crazy, I didn't blame him, for all I knew I had the wrong house, or my parents had moved, maybe I got the information wrong, maybe this wasn't my family…

"Sodapop, I thought I told you to close the door…" The boy from inside came to a halt behind his brothers and stood staring at me as Soda handed the paper back to the slightly taller form behind him.

"Darry…it's Amber" He whispered.

They knew me, I didn't know them, but at least I had the right house.

"Guys…what's going on?" The youngest boy asked.

We made eye contact, his look went straight to my soul, he could see everything, he would know everything, feel everything. I didn't notice the cold anymore.

My cheeks flushed while theirs paled.

Darry pushed open the screen door and invited me inside.

With a tentative step I entered the dimly lit house, Soda flipped on another light making me squint while my eyes readjusted, I dropped my stuffed duffle bag to the floor. Well it wasn't my duffle bag, I had found it in my house in an upstairs closet, but that didn't matter now.

The door closed, they were no longer heating the neighborhood.

We went in to the kitchen, seating ourselves around a worn out table.

"Soda?" The youngest boy looked at his brother in confusion, then back to me.

"Ponyboy…Amber" Darry nodded towards me "Amber is our sister…your twin sister."

My eyes met his again, this time mirroring the confusion I'm sure he could see in mine. So all three of these boys, they were my brothers. I never had brothers before.

"I don't understand" Ponyboy said for the both of us.

"When you guys were born, things were real tough ya know? We had even less money than now, Mom's older sister was married to this rich guy, they couldn't have kids and offered to adopt Amber." Darry explained.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Ponyboy asked looking from one brother to the other indignantly, but mostly hurt. I wanted to take his hand, it was hard to see any human being look so hurt, but I noticed how similar the shapes of our nail beds were and it made my stomach turn. I didn't know this boy, but we had the same fingers. I kept mine to myself.

"We agreed that you didn't need to know, they took Amber far away, to…"

"Arizona" I supplied in a near whisper, feeling dazed and nervous. I couldn't stop fidgeting and my stomach was still protesting its new surroundings.

Darry nodded and continued "We didn't want you trying to chase her down, and we made a promise to Aunt Lydia never to make contact with them again, she wanted to be the only family Amber knew. Mom and Dad had to agree to it, it was either that or starve, they were desperate…none of us ever knew where she was, there was no contact".

"Then how'd you find us?" Ponyboy asked staring at me in bewilderment

I felt tears cloud my eyes and the boys around the table became a blur, "my father had a heart attack a few years ago, he was alone in his office, no one knew until he didn't come home for dinner that night," I said knowing I was crying, but unable to stop myself. I had once thought you could run out of tears, I knew different now.

"What about Aunt Lydia?" Darry asked handing me a handkerchief that I declined to use, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my sweater instead. I didn't mean it as an insult, but I'm afraid that's what it looked like.

I felt like a hand was squeezed around my heart choking it up into my throat, I was sure I couldn't talk but somehow I managed the word "cancer," before tears spilled over again and prevented me from talking.

No one said anything while I struggled to control my crying, and eventually exhaustion took the place of emotion and I felt like I could continue, "by the time the doctors knew what was wrong with her, she was already so sick," I shook my head and swiped at my eyes again with my sleeve, "they tried to fight it, but she knew it wasn't working, she wanted me to be safe, we didn't have any other family so she told me to come here."

"After all these years, she finally told you the truth?" Darry asked

"She never meant to hurt me," I said, "I know it".

It didn't look like any of them believed me, or believed that it was me, and my eyes ached from tired and crying, but there was still something I needed to know:

I cleared my throat "Where are my parents?"

A new knot was forming at the pit of my stomach, there was no sign of parental care in the kitchen in which I was seated.

My brothers exchanged uncomfortable looks, Darry, who already looked tired, sighed, his way of taking on the task of telling me.

"Mom and Dad….died….about two years ago, in a car accident" He looked horrified to have to say those words out loud. He continued to speak but I couldn't hear him.

The cold from outside seeped inside, around the house, into the kitchen and deep down into my body.

Two times now I was an orphan, the reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe.

"Do you want a cup of coffee or something?" Soda asked, his eyes full of worry and sympathy.

"Water," I mumbled, my throat felt so dry I doubted I could swallow.

I was handed a cold glass a minute later, wet with condensation and took a sip and put it back down knowing I'd throw up if I drank any more.

Standing up I made my way to the door, I had no more reason to be here, my parents, my real parents who I never really met were dead. I really had no where to go, no more parents, I was given more parents than most kids and yet I had already run out.

"Where are you going?" The voice sounded blurry as I stumbled towards the door. I felt drunk, it brought back the memory of the time my friend Maxine and I had gone shot for shot at my house in Arizona earlier that year, so drunk off Vodka that my mom had grounded me for a month when I came stumbling down the stairs singing Elvis at the top of my lungs.

I reached the door and hung onto the handle for dear life turning to see Ponyboy panic stricken.

You can't leave" He came over and pried my fingers off the door, his touch was real gentle but you could tell he was tough for his age, real strong.

He led me to the threadbare couch, I sunk down into it wishing I could disappear into the cushions, or at least lie down and sleep until this all went away.

"Please stay," his voice was real soft for a tough guy.


	2. TWO

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I still don't own anyone

A/N: I'm deleting all of the old A/Ns as I go through and edit these chapters – just know that I very much appreciated everyone who ever reviewed, and anyone who continues to review.

T.W.O.

I never did have a normal family, not in the traditional sense. My parents had always been over-protective, but I had never wondered why. I was a medical miracle, or so they said, I was the only kid they could ever have and they wanted to keep me safe. I could understand that even if I did resent it sometimes. At the time I didn't think it was strange, I was allowed to go out with my friends, I was allowed to have a boyfriend, but there was always that air of worry, that parental presence on all occasions…well, most occasions. Now I knew the real reason behind their concern, their worry that I would find out the truth and leave them, hate them for lying to me. I knew the truth now, but I didn't hate them, not really. But that sense of belonging had been diminished, I guess it didn't matter now, what with them dead and all, there was nothing left to belong to.

I never had close friends to stick up for me, close friends to call family. Shoot, every time Maxine, my best friend, got a new boy in her life I wouldn't see her for weeks. When an ex-boyfriend started a rumor about me in school, no one was there to put him in a headlock and demand retribution and a retraction of the lie.

And worst of all, my biological parents had given me up for adoption, it was an act of survival but it seemed to me that no parent who truly cared about their kid would separate themselves from them. But mine did, and so really I could not count them as family either, even if their blood did run through my veins. Things would have been different if they had been here, waiting, with open arms and a warm smile, with kind words and welcomes. They had lived without me, and they had died without me, and they had raised three boys without me…my brothers.

"They didn't want to do it" Darry said as if reading my very thoughts, an act so creepy I jumped back into reality and stared up at his pale blue eyes, gorgeous eyes…we all have gorgeous eyes.

"They didn't know what else to do, Mom cried for months, she always wanted a little girl. They hated that Aunt Lydia wouldn't at least take Ponyboy too, so you'd have your twin with you, Mom kept saying the pain of losing both of you would have been eased if she knew you had each other but Aunt Lydia only wanted one child, a girl, you...every year, on Pony's birthday you could tell how much it hurt them, knowing that you were out there celebrating your birthday with another family."

Understanding crept into Ponyboy's eyes, clearly this had not gone unnoticed each year by him.

I couldn't stop staring at him, my brother, I had always wanted a brother, had always been jealous of Maxine's, who was seventeen, and never hesitated to be obnoxious and flaunt his drivers license, but who was always there when she really needed him. These boys could be my brothers, if I let them. I felt the warmth flow back into my body.

I flexed my fingers, regaining the feeling that had been lost and smiled up at my brothers. I knew my eyes were red and glassy, my hair a mess, my face dirty, my clothes rumpled, they didn't seem to mind though, or maybe they didn't notice.

I stood up and hugged Darry hard around his tight middle, he was in good shape, a strong solid older brother who I could tell, worked hard not only for his family, but for himself, his strong jaw line described his personality perfectly. It was longer, hardset and serious but split open into a grin that made you thrilled that you were able to produce it. He gave me the smile with the first hug, tossled my curls and mumbled into my hair; "It's nice to have you home kid."

He all but placed me into the eager arms of my second oldest brother Sodapop who picked me up and swung me around, tears rimming his eyes, a huge smile on his face, a smile that could not be ignored, or not responded to. I answered him back with a smile of my own and was handed over to Pony, my…

"Darry, which one of us is older?" Pony asked before the question could leave my lips.

"You are little man, aren't you glad you aren't the baby anymore? You're about fifteen minutes older."

Pony's smile made me laugh, causing me to jiggle so much in the hug that Ponyboy started to vibrate and broke into laughter too. I hadn't realized I would be able to laugh, not now, not so soon.

"Come on ya'll let's go get some celebration cake" Soda suggested dragging Pony towards the kitchen with one hand, and myself with the other.

Chocolate cake, I learned very quickly, was a staple food in the Curtis household, and I sure as shootin' was not complaining.


	3. THREE

:HI

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own no original characters of the S.E. Hinton books

T.H.R.E.E.

As we ripped into the cake Darry picked up the phone.

"I'm going to call the gang, tell them not to come over tonight, no need to send Amber running."

"Who's the gang?" I asked with a mouthful of cake, spewing crumbs everywhere.

"That was very ladylike…they're just some boys we grew up with, they're like another four brothers, but they can get pretty wild, maybe it's best if we let you get adjusted first" Darry said

"No, I want to meet them!" I protested, swallowing my cake and washing it down with the water that Soda had given me before. I always liked my beverages closer to room temperature. I don't know why.

Darry shot Soda a wary look, but Soda's eyes were dancing merrily, "Gosh but Steve is gonna love you, Steve is my best buddy"

There was a slight scowl on Ponyboy's face that I didn't quite understand yet, why didn't Pony like Soda's best friend, especially if this boy was one of the "gang", one of the four "extra brothers". I shook the thought out of my mind and turned my mind back to Darry.

"Put the phone down, I want to meet your friends." I wheedled, a slight whine rising in my voice that made Darry smile slightly and hang up the phone, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

I nodded, refusing to admit to either myself or my brothers how nervous I really was, as Soda cocked his head to the side "Boy, I bet the gang will be excited to see you, they saw you when you were a baby too, we've known them that long."

I turned my attention back to Ponyboy and watched him curiously, he seemed upset.

"You mean to tell me…" he was measuring his words as if he couldn't believe they were coming out of his mouth "that the gang knew about Amber all along and no one told me?"

"Of course they know about her, they were old enough to remember there being someone other than us three in the family"

I didn't really like the sarcastic edge in Darry's voice but I didn't stop to really dwell on it because I was feeling a knot of tension return to the pit of my stomach at the hurt look that entered Ponyboy's eyes. Betrayal is probably a better word.

"We made them swear not to tell you" Darry added in a nicer tone "I threatened to throttle anyone who said anything.

"What about Johnny? He wasn't old enough" Pony challenged.

"Well you know Two-Bit, he went and opened his mouth about it when Johnny was there, we couldn't very well lie to Johnny, you know none of us can, but you also know how he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't offer information. I'm sure if you had walked up to him and said 'Hey Johnny, do you know if I have a twin sister" he would have said yes cause he doesn't lie either," Darry replied

"I'm really tired," I said desperate to cut the tension but not knowing how, "can I take a nap?"

"Of course you can, Ponyboy, why don't you get her set up in Soda's old room and I'll bring in some clean sheets," Darry suggested.

Ponyboy nodded and I followed him out of the room grabbing my duffle bag on the way. I could tell he was still irked but he would make his peace with it eventually, just like I would. It certainly didn't seem fair that by no fault of our own we were separated at birth with everyone knowing but us. But that's what life dealt us, and we would deal.

Pony opened the door to a gray and blue room covered in dust, dark and dim. But when he pulled open the curtains I could see that the room had character. The walls were gray with green stripped boarders running the perimeter of the ceiling. The curtains were also a hunter green, hanging limply from the two windows. It was a small room, and like I said, it was dusty too. A far cry from my room in Arizona with its wide window seat and shining wooden floors. This floor was covered in gray shag carpet, the kind you can curl your toes into on a cold winter night.

I could hear Soda or Darry running water in the bathroom, through the wall and I smiled. This house was small, closed in and crowded and I liked it. No more echoing feet on the floor panels when I would walk the halls alone at night, or strange noises as the house settled, you could feel safe and secure in a house like this. I already did.

"It was Soda's room, before he started sleeping with me." Pony offered "I know it ain't much but…"

"It's great, I love it" I said walking over to the windows to open them, dropping my duffel bag on the bed at the same time.

"The bed has gotten some use in the last year anyway, guys sometimes spend the night here or on the couch…if you ever wake up and find someone you don't know on the couch don't panic. Our door is always open, guys get hacked off at their parents and spend the night here to blow off steam instead of doing something stupid."

I tried to think of exactly what "doing something stupid" meant but couldn't think beyond getting into a fist fight, which didn't seem so bad. I admit my naiveté was at an all time high my first few days in Tulsa. I had a lot to learn, many things I did not want to learn but had to. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

As I unpacked the few possessions I had taken with me from Arizona, Darry came in and made the bed for me before going to take a shower and leaving me and Ponyboy alone. I tried to learn more about my brother, in the few minutes it took me to unpack. I knew he would tell me anything, and I knew that even though I'd always been a private person (hard to believe, what with me giving away all these inside details to you sir, I know) I would tell him anything and everything too. I think everyone needs someone to talk to.

"Why is Soda sleeping with you?" I asked, hoping I wasn't getting too personal, too fast.

"Since mom and dad…uh..died I've had these nightmares, horrible nightmares, they're not so bad when Soda is next to me…I sound like a pansy I know…" He replied

I tilted my head to the side, a blouse in one hand, a hanger in another, "I don't think you're a pansy, I think you're smart to get Soda to sleep with you instead of screaming to high heaven every night, I bet the rest of the neighborhood thinks so too."

It did strike me as odd though, that my brother seemed so tough but already was proving himself otherwise.

"Even Soda hasn't been able to stop the nightmares lately though" He conceded "Not since, well Johnny...he's cri...I umm"

The water turned off in the bathroom and through the walls I could hear the shower curtain being pulled aside. "Darry is out of the shower…I better get in there before Soda does or I won't get one tonight," he said.

Gosh he looked happy to get out of there, I didn't know what he was trying to say but I found out soon enough.

"Ok," I said falling onto the nicely made bed – hospital corners and everything as Ponyboy closed the door behind him. I was asleep within minutes despite my unfamiliar surroundings.

I don't know how long I slept, but I think it was the slamming of the screen door that woke me up, and then the voices that filled the living room.

Wishing I had been given the chance to shower, I changed quickly into a red skirt that fell just to my knees and a white shirt instead hoping I didn't look too bad. Pushing my hair over my shoulders I took a deep breath.

Outside my room there was such a commotion it sounded like three dozen boys had come into the house instead of four solitary guys by themselves.

Looking into the mirror I pushed down on my nose wishing it didn't turn up the way that it did. I shook my head to myself, it didn't matter what I looked like, I wasn't out to impress my brother's friends. I wasn't going to fall in love with them. I made that promise to myself then and there. Falling for your older brother's friend only ever resulted in the said friend being hit by the brother at some point because the brother has a warped sense of "dishonoring" the sister, and the failed friendship being blamed all on the female.

No, I wouldn't fall in love with any of the boys out there.


	4. FOUR

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I only own my own imagination and I borrow the rest from S.E. Hinton

F.O.U.R.

I broke my promise to myself the second I strolled, as casually as possible knowing that all eyes would soon be on me, into the living room and into the chaotic tangle of boys splayed around the room.

I paused at the edge of the room on the boarder of the safe hallway and the peering eyes of the living room, and then in what I thought a bold manner, stepped forward into my brothers' world to meet their life long friends. People, who if you don't mind my repeating, should have been my lifelong friends. Still, I figured, fifteen years isn't many in the grand scheme of things, and if I lived to be one hundred and so did they, they'll still have been my friends for…well math isn't my strong point, but some eighty years which is nothing to sneeze over.

I don't rightly remember how long I stood there before Ponyboy looked up from the ground where he had been pinned by a boy with long dark sideburns and dancing eyes that held a jolly nature in them like Soda's did.

"Amber!" He caught the bigger boy off guard pushing him away and scrambled to his feet to stand next to me.

The noise stopped as abruptly as it had started and my throat went dry while my eyes scanned the room. Well, scanned might not be the best word, I was instantly drawn to one set of eyes, eyes that captivated me, and that's what I mean when I say I broke my promise to myself within that first awkward silent moment. Such startlingly blue eyes, a hard, well defined face, white hair…not white like an old person, but a beautiful light blonde that scattered around his face, not held down or shaped like the other boys with hair grease. His hair was as reckless as his eyes, cause his eyes did hold an edge of danger and I couldn't help but sense that he was angry at me already. I never believed in love at first sight until that moment, until my heart clogged my throat and I stared, more rudely than I ever have in my life, at the boy in front of me, falling helplessly in love. Those eyes, you could get lost in eyes like those.

I realized that Ponyboy was introducing me to everyone and I wasn't listening.

"What? Start over Pony" I begged

He looked at me curiously and went back to the left side of the room.

"Two-bit" The boy with the sideburns grinned widely at me,

"Nice to see you again kiddo" He called across the room running over and swinging me around like we were life-long pals.

"Howdy, Two-Bit" I said stopping for the first time to contemplate the odd names that people in Tulsa had acquired, my own brothers included. Let's face it, there aren't many Ponyboys and Sodapops in the phonebook. Maybe in the yellow-pages under Circus sideshows and Beverages. However Amber July isn't the most ordinary name either and I had always wondered as to its origin. I could now safely say my parents were very creative and probably odd people. Don't get me wrong though, I loved our names, odd as they might be.

After my feet were firmly back on the ground he leaned over towards me as if to whisper and instead rather loudly asked "So what do you think to giving ol' cousin Two-Bit a kiss on the cheek!"

I flushed and glanced at Ponyboy who shoved Two-Bit on the shoulder and told him to bug off, but Two-Bit remained faithful, planting his eyes on me until I dutifully stood on tip-toes and kissed him softly on the cheek in one hurried movement, moving closer to Ponyboy once the deed was done.

"You're one classy broad ain't you?"

It was him, with the eyes, not such a charmer once he opened his mouth. Broad was not one of my favorite words to describe the female race.

"Watch it Dallas" Darry warned from the kitchen doorway where he was leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest.

Dallas

"My deepest apologies" He said sarcastically and settled himself down into the couch making it obvious that he no longer held any interest in me, classy or not.

Still, I could see him peering across the room from half closed eye-lids, eyeing me, sizing me up and I figured from the disgruntled noise he made a moment later I didn't size up alright in his eyes.

"Don't pay no mind to Dally," Pony said, not guessing that I wanted to pay my whole mind to Dallas.

"This here is Johnny" he continued

Sympathy immediately flooded over me as I set my eyes on the dark hair, dark eyes of Johnny Cade. I had been so caught up in my fascination with Dallas that I hadn't even noticed the old wheel chair that sat in the middle of the room holding a frail looking boy with the biggest black eyes I've ever seen. They were settled on me and seemed to have been for some time now, he was openly staring agape at me and I stared back a smile forming on my lips. Johnny didn't look at all upset at his situation in the wheelchair, instead his eyes shinned as though they held the secret of the universe, I found out later that they did. Johnny Cade possessed what every boy in this neighborhood needed - that being the desire to live - but like I said I found that out later - I'm getting ahead of myself again. That night in the living room I knew only that I wanted to get to know Johnny real well. My sympathy vanished as quickly as it had come, Johnny needed no sympathy, nor would he accept any, I could tell already.

"And this is Steve!" Soda shouted pushing forward a boy with hair in complicated swirls that I could only imagine took him hours to get right every morning.

Steve took a mock bow in front of me and openly sized me up, from his grin I could tell that I had done alright by him.

"It's nice to meet you all." I said politely, though I was getting the impression that politeness was lost on them.

And then it was over and the chaos once again reigned supreme in the room.

A poker game was quickly started on the coffee table in the middle of the room, the TV was turned on, but no one watched, and the radio was turned on to full decibel level. Chips and cake, sodas and cigarettes appeared out of no where and the room was filled with smoke.

"Want one?" Steve offered holding the box out towards me.

I looked over towards my brothers, unsure if it was okay that I did smoke on occasion.

Ponyboy who had drifted across the room to Johnny, not talking, more watching what was going on, was already smoking and so I figured it would be okay and accepted the cigarette and the light.

It helped to settle my nerves as I stood feeling a little lost in that crowd of boys.

Darry was keeping a protective eye on me that I could feel across the room as I settled myself onto the far left side of the couch, leaving the whole middle cushion in between myself and Dallas.

I turned to look at him, to try and make conversation but he gave me such a look of contempt that I shut my mouth before any words could form.

"You've got a big surprise coming your way doll-face."

Doll-face wasn't a term of endearment and I couldn't fathom what the big surprise could be.

"Dallas" it was a reproaching voice that Darry used a lot, I could tell.

"What? The kid is going to find out eventually," He turned back to me, "You don't belong here, you're not one of us"

The hatred in his eyes was unmistakeable and I shakily got off the couch and moved away from him.

Everyone's eyes were back on me, they had all heard Dallas's accusations and from the looks on their faces, they had been thinking it too. Though I don't know what they had to go by to back up that assumption. Like I said my naivete was soaring high that night.

Johnny broke the silence, "Shoot guys, don't ruin her homecoming she belongs here like the rest of us, she's a Curtis just like Pony, Soda and Darry after all, so leave her alone."

When the noise had resumed and I had been invited into the poker game I paused to think of the irony that a crippled boy in a wheelchair would be the one to integrate me into the group because no one dared oppose him as he sat with his back erect in what no longer seemed a wheelchair to me, but a throne holding one of the most precious human beings in existence. I came out of my trance, threw away two and folded, taking my place in this group of youths as the Curtis's sister.


	5. FIVE

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything )

F.I.V.E.

The guys left that night around twelve thirty, Dally and Two-Bit to go to a guy named 'Buck's place to "Catch some action and maybe a broad or two".

I tried not to show my disappointment in Dallas's leaving, especially in his leaving to pick up girls. Johnny was brought home by Steve who was on his way to his girlfriend's house and I was left alone with my brothers again.

"Tomorrow we'll call the people from the state and tell them about you, make sure there aren't any complications in your being here, then we can bring you to the school and get you registered," Darry said as he moved slowly around the living room picking up cans, bottles and cigarette butts which were in plentiful supply and constantly being added to by Ponyboy, who, I could see was quite the cigarette addict.

"About school, Darry" I started, "I don't think I should go, what with my being another mouth to feed and us not having a lot of money, I think I should go to work instead, earn my keep"

Darry leveled his eyes "Don't be stupid Amber, you're going to school, I won't have you dropping out. There isn't much of a market for uneducated teenage girls anyway, except pregnancy and welfare"

"I could waitress" I countered

"No you can't, no Curtis is going to cater to a bunch of people with their noses in the air thinking they're better than us"

"I could be a secretary" I offered

"Not if you can't read and write"

"I can so read and write, I don't know why you're so into my going to school, it's my choice."

Pony and Soda were watching mine and Darry's exchange of words, our first battling it out with avid interest like they were even enjoying it, but at this retort they both looked subdued.

"You're right it's your choice, but I'll skin you alive if you don't go"

oh boy, what an ultimatum.

Based on the fact that I'm writing this, I think you know the choice I made.

"Well does the school at least have a cheerleading team?" I asked. I had been head cheerleader of my junior high team in Arizona.

Another troubled look passed between the boys and Darry avoided the question by going back to picking up the trash around the room.

"Yeah, but you don't want anything to do with those girls," Ponyboy said

"Why?"

I could tell that he was dreading the inevitable question, I was starting to realize they were dreading a lot of things concerning me.

"They're just….not nice," he finished lamely.

"Well I'll just see about that," I stated crossing my arms in front of me a little indignant about being forced to go to school.

I was always pretty ok in school, made the dean's list despite my math deficiencies but I never liked it. I took it for granted I guess, it was just something to be done and since I was throwing in the towel to the loving parent bit, why not ditch school while I was at it?

"Well I guess it'll be ok, having you and Soda with me huh?" I asked

"Uh…well you'll have Pony with you…I dropped out after mom and dad…you know cause you might as well know it now, I'm dumb, I work at the DX downtown," Soda mumbled.

Darry walked out of the living room and slammed the door to his room with such a great force the house shook.

"Darry still hasn't really forgiven me for it, see Amber he wants the world for us and he's taken it upon himself to give it to us even though it means roofing house after house instead of sticking us in a home and going to college himself. Darry is real smart, and he knows you and Pony are too which is why it's so important for him that you go, you see Kid? You gotta go, for Darry"

I turned red. I had acted like a child. There was so much I didn't know about my brothers, so much I had to learn about them, and about life in general.

I ran over to Darry's door knocking on it and letting myself into the stormy blue room where Darry lay on his back staring at the ceiling from atop a bed he was too tall for.

Throwing myself on top of him I hugged him tightly

"I'll go to school, and I'll become really smart and make you proud of me," I promised.

"I know you will" He said holding me next to him in a crushing embrace like he was afraid if he let go I'd disappear on the spot.

"Darry, why does Pony want me to not be on the cheer team?" I asked

"I can't lie to you Amber, you are different than us, I can't describe it but you'll see, things are bad right now, one day they'll get better and maybe then it'll be ok for you to be on the cheerleading squad"

It wasn't much of an answer, in fact it left me more confused than before, and I scrambled off the bed as Soda and Pony came into the room, a hurt and dejected feeling creeping deep down into me.

"I'm tired, I think I better go to bed"

It was a lie, after all the Pepsi I'd had to drink that night I wasn't tired at all, but I had to get out of that room and be by myself to review the emotional rollercoaster that I had ridden that day and just crashed off of into a pit of despair.

"'Night" I mumbled rushing out of the room and across the hall to the safety of the shag carpet and locked door.

I don't know what time I finally fell asleep that night, my mind wouldn't stop working it's way around that night's events. I didn't belong here. That was made abundantly clear, but how could I not belong when like Johnny said, I was a Curtis, same as Pony, Soda and Darry?

Johnny

I would talk to Johnny tomorrow, he could explain things to me.

I fell asleep thinking "Tomorrow I'll talk to Johnny and things will be ok, I do belong here, I do"

I woke up not much later with the distinct feeling that I was not alone.

The green quilt was moving on its own and there was the unmistakable sound of another person breathing next to me.

Curled up facing the wall I hugged my pillow to myself, scared to turn around I counted to three and peered over my shoulder.

A boy with unruly hair and a twisted face with a bent nose lay next to me, scars over both his eyebrows and a snarl on his lips.

Jumping out of the bed with a scream I fell into the corner of the room still hugging the pillow to myself

Darry came rushing in followed closely by Soda and Pony, all looking groggy and unkempt.

"Amber what is it?"

I pointed to the bed "I was in bed with a hoodlum!" it was a shouted whisper and obviously heard by the boy who was now sitting up.

"Why the hell are ya'll waking me up when I just got to sleep?" He asked before noticing me sitting in the corner.

"I ain't no hoodlum baby…I'm just your average JD, I don't know what you're getting so worked up about, come get back into bed, I'm tired"

"Get up Shepard," Darry commanded dragging the kid off the bed by his right arm and shoving him towards the door.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, or pants, or much of anything bar a pair of shorts and socks. His legs were scrawny and hairy but more attractive then the hate that was written all over his face.

It took me a minute to realize that Ponyboy and Soda were laughing at me

"What the hell is so funny?" I demanded.

"Nothin, 'cept you being in bed with Tim Shepard," Pony snickered, though the next day he told me that if ever caught me in bed with Tim under any other circumstances he'd personally kill him.

"I don't think it's very funny, he could have killed me!" I objected crawling out of the corner and dusting myself off. God but that room was dusty.

"I told you, guys just drop in" Pony said with a shrug "They're not dangerous, not really"

"Comforting" I muttered.

"You'll get used to it," Soda said throwing himself on the bed crossing his arms behind his head.

"Thanks a lot for your love and protection, big brother" I said smacking him with my pillow, "Your concern for my wellbeing is overwhelming"

He grinned up at me, that irresistible grin that made me grin back.

"Shove over, this is my bed too"

"My bed first," Soda retorted but moved over so that I could slide in next to him.

"Come on Pony, there's room for one more," I offered, lifting the covers so he could join us.

We barely fit.

"What you don't mind sharing your bed with these hoodlums?" Darry asked from the door

"You guys aren't hoodlums, you're my brothers" I said with a sleepy smile curled happily in between Pony and Soda.

A sad smile came across Darry's face as he shut the door, or maybe it was just a shadow.


	6. SIX

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except people who obviously weren't in the book

S.I.X.

I woke up early the next morning, which was odd for me. Normally I slept later than all my friends until they forced their way into my house and woke me up physically.

I think it was the anxiety, though it had calmed itself under the comfort of my brothers.

However it was seven thirty on a Sunday and I was lying awake and the ceiling was getting boring.

Untangling myself from the twisted sheets and multiple arms and legs that overlapped across the bed, I managed to free myself and watched as Soda and Pony, still sleeping like logs, rolled over and quickly occupied my space.

Gosh my brothers are good looking, like angels on earth sprawled out on that bed.

Dressing myself quickly I wandered out into the living room and noticed my nagging hunger.

I still felt weird just going into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator, it was something I could never do at my friend's houses, not even Maxine's, a person's icebox is something sorta personal, it's like brushing your teeth with ten people staring at you.

However, hunger beat out nerves and I walked into the kitchen suppressing a surprised yell upon seeing the hood that I'd shared my bed with last night sitting at our kitchen table, casually drinking a cup of coffee and reading a magazine I'm sure Darry wouldn't approve of.

I guess reading isn't the best word then, more like…perusing.

"Morning Dollface"

His voice and attitude made me cringe but I tried not to show it and offered him a curt nod before taking a piece of cake and pouring myself a glass of milk.

My mom always said I was lucky to still be in that stage of life where I can eat anything and not get fat, she told me to enjoy it while I could because, well, just look at her hips.

I hurried out of the kitchen and curled up into an arm chair, turning on the TV and watched in half witted enjoyment the morning television shows.

I was dozing in the chair when Darry came into the living room, taking the plate out of my hands before I could spill anymore crumbs into the crevices in between the chair frame and the cushion.

"Morning" He greeted me as I lifted my heavy eyelids and tried to greet him with a smile.

He returned my smile, but it looked even more tired than I felt.

I watched him from the chair as he went into the kitchen and busied himself making eggs and bacon. Taking out the cake, jelly, butter. Scrambling the eggs for Ponyboy (I like mine scrambled too), Sunny-side up for Soda, an omlette for himself. I declined the invitation to eat, my stomach was a bundle of nerves. Once breakfast was over we were going to the school, if the people from the state said it was ok for me to live here. I had my doubts about that.

Soda and Pony appeared together, neither one of them bothering to brush their hair or their teeth for that matter.

Breakfast was over too quickly; the boys ate, Darry yelled at Soda for looking at the magazine that Tim had left (he must have slipped out while I was sleeping) and Ponyboy spilled his milk in what looked like an arm spasm. He had told me the night before that he ran track, and yet I had seen him trip over his own feet, now he was spilling milk and it just didn't add up. Something was wrong with my twin, and as his twin, his other half, I told myself it was my responsibility to find out and to remedy the situation.

I was right about the state, they had a lot of questions and concerns about me, so many in fact that they sent over an official an hour later to talk to us about it. It was a fast hour as we all tried to shower and clean the house and look like four people capable of living together under one roof without burning it to its foundation.

The official, Mr. Adams, had brown hair and green eyes and a bushy mustache that I can only imagine tickled Mrs. Adams when she kissed him. I knew he was married by the plain gold ring on his chubby finger.

He asked me to tell him about my previous living conditions and I looked at Darry for help, I didn't know what to say, fearing that the wrong thing would result in my being taken away. Despite the doubts about school and my "belonging" I didn't want to leave. Darry offered a supportive smile so I gave it to Mr. Adams straight. I told him I had a good home, a protective father and an eager mother. I told him about Maxine and my other friends, I told him about Ryan my ex-boyfriend who was still a good friend but I hadn't bothered to call when I left. I finished up with my parents' deaths and my mother's revealed secret and a plea to let me stay with my family now that I had really found them.

He thought a minute then turned to Darry who took a seat on the couch next to me, his arms folded, a serious, determined look on his face and asked him a lot of embarrassing questions about how he would deal with a "maturing female in a family of boys"

Darry took the questions Mr. Adams shot at him and fired back with replies filled with certainty as if he had already thought out all of this and raising a fifteen year old girl was the easiest thing in the world. I would try to make it easy, I really would

"Now Darrel be reasonable" Mr. Adams said "It's just not good for Amber to be growing up in this environment, she needs a mother, another female to help her through the rough teen years."

"She'll have us" Darry said motioning to Ponyboy and Soda.

I nodded in agreement

Mr. Adams sighed "I'm sorry Darrel, Amber, boys" He looked at each one of us in turn, "I just can't allow it, as she has no living female relatives, and her adoptive parents did nothing by way of setting up a guardianship in case of a situation such as this, Amber will have to come with me and live in a state home until she can be placed into a foster family".

My eyes went wildly to Darry and then to Ponyboy who came over and took a firm hold on my hand. Soda followed and sandwiched me in.

"I won't let you do that," Darry said evenly "I work my ass off to keep this family together and now that it's finally complete you aren't ripping it apart and sticking Amber in some home. She's lived fifteen years with the wrong family, I won't let her go"

Darry was ready to explode, he was holding it in cause if he hit Mr. Adams it would all be over, he would be in jail and Soda, Pony and I would be in a home somewhere, but not together.

"Darrel, if Amber had been living with you when your parents died there's a very good chance that all three of your siblings would have been placed into the foster care system, but because you were all males and you're such a hard worker it was overlooked and you were allowed to stay together. So be glad that you still have Soda and Ponyboy with you, and you can still see Amber, she just can't be under your care. I don't like doing this, but it has to be done."

He stood up to go with a sigh, "I'll be back in two hours to pick Amber up" He started to extend his arm to shake hands with Darry, like I was just a business deal, then thought better of it when he saw the look on Darry's face.

Boy he was angry.

I was numb and cold and buried my face into Ponyboy's chest and cried encircled by my brothers as we slowly accepted the truth, I did not belong.


	7. SEVEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer - I own nothing!

S.E.V.E.N

Darry said he wouldn't let me go, said he would get a lawyer, a gun, an armed accomplice, anything to keep me there.

His words didn't stop Mr. Adams from returning one hour and fifty six minutes later to pick me up, load my duffel bag into the car, take hold of my arm and usher me away from my rightful family and into his black honda.

His words didn't stop the awkward silence that ensued in the car after Mr. Adams pulled away from the curb and I could no longer see my brothers standing on the porch no matter how hard I strained my eyes.

I had seen the look in their eyes, defeat, their words could not stop what was happening.

I sighed, lying my head back on the seat as Mr. Adams told me about the home in which I would be living in until they could find a "more permanent arrangement"

"You're in luck," he said, "a couple came in the other day, looking to take in a foster child, however most of the children we take in are more…rough around the edges than you. The couple left but told us to contact them if we got someone in more suitable, and I think you might do just fine"

I was going to be sick, more suitable? They might as well be taking in a winter jacket with adjectives like that.

I fought back my nausea and sat silently as he continued to drive to another trashy part of town and pulled up in front of a large brick building a few stories high, a fire escape on the left side of the building.

"Get out and wait for me on the sidewalk, I'm going to park in the garage, can't keep the car out in front, too many hoodlums these days" Mr. Adams said with disgust.

I complied, getting out of the car and taking my bag out of the back. Holding it tightly I waited as he pulled around the building, wondering how far I could get if I started to run.

I could hide at Johnny's, or Two-Bit's, or Dallas… no not Dallas, I didn't have a chance with him now.

"Alright then, let's get you inside and settled," Mr. Adams said taking the bag out of my hands and breaking me from my thoughts.

"I'll carry that," I said taking my bag back, wishing I could take my life back just as easily.

I followed him through a dark hallway and up a pair of stairs in need of polishing, down another long dark hallway, the only light coming from extremely dusty windows streaked with dirt. He showed me into a large room filled with girls.

"You can take the third bed on the right," He said then cleared his throat to get the attention of the other girls.

"This is Amber Curtis," He didn't have much else to say, the girls weren't really listening anyway, I could tell they'd been caught off guard when the door had opened and were hiding something.

Or someone as it turned out to be.

Mr. Adams left and a girl with sandy blonde hair burst into nervous laughter, "that was a close one, come on out Charlie"

A boy with brown hair and scattered freckles crawled out from under the bed clutching a pair of girl's underwear with a wicked grin on his face.

Several girls screamed and the owner, a girl with red hair and blue eyes, snatched them back putting them under her pillow protectively.

Smoke billowed out from behind the curtains where two girls had hidden their cigarettes when Mr. Adams had come in.

I watched all of this sitting down on my new bed, a small rickety twin size that looked like it could hardly hold me, let alone my brothers too. Not at all like my bed at home.

"Hey new kid, what's with the get-up?" A platinum blonde asked looking me up and down.

I followed her gaze, not following her comment until I truly looked at the girls in front of me. Torn clothing, short skirts, tight tops, a lot of make-up. They didn't look like me, or rather, I really didn't look like them.

I shrugged and took off my shoes lying on my bed trying to tune them all out.

"Don't mind Missy, she's a bitch"

I looked up to find another blonde hovering above me, but this one looked natural, still too much makeup, but her clothes seemed to fit her alright.

"I'm Linda" I shook her extended hand and sat up, moving over to make room for her to sit down.

"I don't know what Adams told you, but this is strictly a girls floor, no boys allowed" She informed me.

"I was told." I replied, glancing at Charlie

"Fire escape," she said by means of explaining his presence, "boys are always coming and going from outside. The boys inside, they live next floor up, have rooms on the other side of the building so they can't really get to the fire escape, doesn't matter though they're all duds. We see them at meal times but we eat at different tables, Adams and Peggy say they don't want us having more children that need a place to live so they keep us separated. Don't make a difference though, like I said guys are always coming and going here - Mary over there is four months along"

I stared at awe at a girl who didn't look much older than me.

I laughed at the irony, trying to keep me from being corrupted, the state took me out of a house with a family that would crack the skull of any guy who tried to impregnate me and put me into a home where girls managed to get pregnant on an all girls floor.

Linda looked at me like I was cracked "I guess it was a bit of a stressful day, how'd you get in here anyhow?"

"I don't belong here, I have a family" I said "Three brothers, our parents died awhile back, I had been living with a relative who died, I came back here to find my family, found out my parents were killed but I had brothers, then the State came and said they weren't fit to raise me and here I am." I couldn't believe that had all happened in the last twenty four hours.

"What did you say your name was?" Linda asked.

"Amber"

"Amber what?"

"Curtis"

"So your brother is that gorgeous guy that works at the DX?" She asked "We've been trying to get him up here for over a year"

She stopped and thought a minute "And that kid Ponyboy, goes to the high school, he's your brother too?"

I nodded "My twin brother" God I missed them.

Our conversation had attracted the attention of several of the girls who were now listening with interest.

"He's been real famous at the school lately after what happened" Another girl spoke up looking excited to be talking to the sister of the famous kid.

"What for?" I asked.

They looked at each other "You mean you don't know?" Linda asked.

I shook my head as the door opened and another girl appeared "Dinners almost ready, and you best get Charlie out of here, Adams is on his way up."

"That was Deeana, she's sort of the head girl here, keeps us out of trouble when she can" Linda explained as Charlie said a hasty goodbye to the girls and left.

"Linda, do we go to the same school as my brother?" I asked.

"Yeah, everyone in this area goes to the same school, even the rich snobs lower themselves and go to school with us."

I nodded thoughtfully, I could at least see Ponyboy then, maybe he could help me think of a way out of this.

Mr. Adams re-entered the room and announced dinner, as the girls flooded out he stopped me,

"Amber, I've telephoned your school in Arizona, you'll be going to school tomorrow, 10th grade."

"Sir, I've only just started ninth grade" truthfully I didn't care what grade they put me into, I wanted to be with my brother.

"I know, however your marks were good enough that we feel putting you into the next grade will be fine, you'll be in the same grade as your brother" He turned a slight crimson and I got the feeling that he'd gone a distance to make sure this happened. For the first time all I day I truly felt grateful and I smiled to let him know it.

"Thank you sir"

He nodded "I also telephoned that couple I told you about, you have an interview tomorrow after school."

I nodded and looked at my feet.

Mr. Adams coughed "ok, well get on downstairs for dinner"

I nodded again but left the room with a little more enthusiasm than I had entered it, tomorrow I would see Ponyboy again.


	8. EIGHT

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own no one important (ie the Outsiders) just Amber and other minor stupid characters that I put there for necessity sake.

E.I.G.H.T.

My schedule looked boring.

Homeroom, history, math, English, Intro to Economics, Lunch, Spanish, Gym or Art depending on the day.

"I've been assigned to bring you to your homeroom." I looked up at the older boy with a meek smile, straightened my skirt and stood up from the chair where I had been abandoned by the school secretary after she had finished typing up my schedule for me.

I had been driven to school by Mr. Adams since I had to get there early, tomorrow I would have to walk the three miles with the other girls and boys from the house. It was still cold outside and I didn't look forward to this.

"I'm Ron by the way" He offered as I clutched my white binder to my chest and scanned the halls for Ponyboy or Johnny, though I didn't know if Johnny went to school.

I saw Two-Bit down the hall and waved frantically as he caught my eye and tried to make his way over to me. Before he could get halfway down the hall two taller broad-shouldered boys stepped in front of him pinning him to the lockers.

The grin fell from his face as he struggled against them.

"Greasers are nothing but trouble" Ron said scornfully. He was wearing Madras just like the other two boys and myself.

"Greasers?" I asked questioningly staring at Two-Bit struggle, wanting to go help but Ron took a firm hold on my arm

"Best not get mixed up with his kind" He said knowingly as he lead me across the hall and into another section of the school.

"But I know…" I tried to protest but lost my train of thought as Ron pushed open a door and ushered me inside.

"See you later" He called, leaving me quickly.

"Ponyboy!" I shrieked scaring the daylights out of my brother who had been sitting plaintively at a desk, head down.

My binder clattered to the floor as Ponyboy leapt forward and gathered me in his arms swinging me around.

The whole room was staring at us, but I didn't care.

He looked me over as if to make sure I was really all there and ok. He wrinkled his nose in disdain at the Madras skirt I was wearing. It was green and gray and brought out our eyes I thought.

Once he made it past the skirt and realized I was really there in his arms he let me go and smiled dragging me over to take the seat next to him.

"What's it like? Where are you living? How are the girls you're with? Do they feed you O.K? Gosh but Soda and Darry and I miss you, it's not fair what they did. Darry said he's going to court with this, but it'll take a few weeks so hang in there. Let me see your schedule."

I laughed and handed the slip of paper to him taking in all of his movements relieved to be next to him again.

I felt twice as strong with him near me, like nothing could hurt me.

"We have English and lunch together, I'm glad they put you into my grade," He said looking at me.

"Me too, I tried to tell him I was in ninth grade thinking that's where you'd be, but Mr. Adams knew where you where and put me here on purpose, I really think he feels bad about what happened." I told him.

We continued talking loudly in excited voices, dense to the staring pupils that surrounded us until the teacher yelled so loudly for attention that we finally noticed that homeroom had been called to order and we were the only ones talking.

"Explain yourself Mr. Curtis" The tall wiry women requested pulling Ponyboy up to the front of the room.

I'm sure if he hadn't been grinning so much it would have been an embarrassing moment however he took it well and said simply, "My sister is back, I haven't talked to her since yesterday and before that I never talked to her, so we have a lot to say to each other" He ended with a shrug and a false sounding apology.

"Amber Curtis, I presume?" She asked.

I nodded and she marked something in her book then took the roll and we all filed out into the hallway.

"I saw Two-Bit this morning" I said as we walked towards my history class. I knew Pony had class at the other end of the school but he was on track and could handle the run despite all his smoking, he said. Besides I wanted to ask him why Ron had called Two-Bit Greasy when as far as I could tell Two-Bit was a relatively clean kid bar the smell of cheap cologne and alcohol.

"Oh yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah, cept before I could talk to him some kids came up and pinned him to the lockers and Ron took me away before I could help him, called him greasy or something." I looked at Ponyboy in bewilderment.

He looked at his shoes "Don't worry Amber, they were just playing around."

I didn't believe him and it hurt that he would lie to me but I accepted what he said without anymore questions. Clearly he didn't want to talk about Two-Bit's enemies.

"I'll meet you at your Math class and walk with you to English." Ponyboy said a minute later erasing the uneasy silence that had fallen between us.

I nodded as he opened the door and yelled for a kid named Mike to come talk to him.

"Hey, can you walk my sister to Room 286 after this?" He asked after slapping high fives.

"Since when have the Curtis's had a sister?" He asked eyeing me much to Ponyboy's annoyance.

"Since yesterday" I said brightly "And about fifteen years before that, despite our lack of knowledge"

"I'll explain later" Pony promised "Or Amber will, I gotta run, just bring her there and don't let anyone bother her or I'll skin them personally."

Ponyboy left and Mike made the girl in the seat next to him move so I could sit there. She was wearing a nice skirt and blouse and scowled at me and Mike.

"Ain't you a little Socy to be a Curtis?" He asked more freely looking me up and down without Ponyboy breathing down his neck. Like I said Ponyboy was strong and could easily take Mike.

I stared at him dumbly not knowing what he meant. I guess I didn't know the Tulsa slang, Socy wasn't in my vocabulary, nor was greasy a word used while "playing around"

I shrugged as the class started and took overly concentrated notes to keep my mind off my questions.

At the end of the class I introduced myself to the teacher who said my transcript from my other school would be fine and I could start assignments right along with everyone else, starting with the fifty pages of reading tonight. I don't mind history, I find it interesting and all so I nodded with a smile and left with Mike who brought me to Math.

Stares followed me down the aisle as I made my way to an empty seat in the back of the room. I blushed under the constant gaze of a boy in a football jacket. He was really cute, but he didn't make my heart throb the way Dally did with his dangerous eyes and blonde hair.

The boy physically removed the kid sitting next to me, a boy in ripped jeans and tennis shoes. The football player threw the boy's worn leather coat at him and knocked his book onto the floor.

"Beat it grease." He sneered, then turned to me.

I stared at him, "Why'd you do that?" I asked scrambling to my feet and helping the boy pick up his books.

The boy in black cast me a terrified look and hurried away like I had the flu and he was gonna catch it if he stayed near me.

I returned to my seat as the teacher started her lesson right in the middle of something I had never seen before as though I should know what was going on. There were a lot of parenthesis and numbers scrawled on the board and I tried my best to follow along.

"Pst…"

I looked over at the football player. Blonde hair, green eyes, perfect nose and lips that formed a perfect smile around his perfect teeth.

"I'm Jake" He mouthed with a flashy grin.

I'm sure he'd picked up countless girls with that smile.

"Amber" I mouthed back blushing though I wanted nothing to do with this boy after what he'd done to the other kid.

"Meet me after class" he scrawled on a note flicking it onto my desk.

I shook my head no and turned back to my notes seeing anger flash in his eyes.

The class ended thirty three minutes later and I rushed out the door holding my books to my chest waiting for Ponyboy, leaning against a locker.

"So what do you say about the Drive-In this Friday?" I looked up and saw Jake leaning against the locker next to me, and arm starting to creep around my shoulder.

I turned away, "I don't think so"

"What, you already got a guy?" He asked hotly

I sighed in relief seeing Ponyboy strolling down the hallway. Maybe he could explain the situation to Jake, I didn't think I could put it into words.

"Hey Amber, ready?" Pony asked looking at Jake and then back to me, confusion in his eyes.

"Him?!" Jake all but roared "You've got to be kidding me, you know you're better than that trash"

"Don't call my brother trash" I spat out slapping him across the face before I could even think about what I was doing.

He stood staring at me dumbfounded as Ponyboy yanked me down the hallway so hard I thought my arms would fall out of it's socket.

"God damn murderer's sister just hit me for Christ's sake" I heard him bellow as Ponyboy continued to pull.

When he finally let me go we were in front of our English room.

"Pony, you have to answer my questions now. I'm not dumb I know something's going on, I don't know what, but you have to tell me, this isn't fair." I begged.

"I'll explain at lunch"

"He called you a murderer, why?"

"Amber I said I'd tell you later" He said pathetically.

"Ponyboy!"

"Amber! Please!"

I frowned but nodded as he brought me to the English teacher (you, sir) where you told me I had to write this, since you know what happened during your class I'll skip ahead.

"We don't eat in the cafeteria" Ponyboy said opening a door to the side of the school where a lot of kids, all dressed in shabbier clothes were congregating, then spreading out in different directions.

I knew better than to ask why, no one answered my questions anyway.

Leading me around the side of the building and down the road we kept the talk casual until we reached a gas station about five minutes later.

"Hey, doesn't Soda work here?" I asked as I was swept up from behind and hugged tightly by the man in question.

"How ya doin kiddo?" He asked with a bright grin. "The house isn't the same without you, we're doing everything we can to get you back."

I didn't respond, just hugged him tighter and waved to Steve who was leaning against a car and drinking a Pepsi.

Ponyboy reappeared and handed me a cold Pepsi and a plastic-wrapped sandwich which I took hungrily but dropped when I saw Darry pull into the station.

Diving towards the open window of the Ford truck before he came to a complete stop I pulled open the door and dove onto Darry's lap as he put the car into park.

He smiled and stepped down from the truck with me hanging from his neck.

The questions I had left my mind as Two-Bit appeared next and I had a blissful twenty minutes with my brothers and his friends before Darry loaded us into the truck and took us back to school.


	9. NINE

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing really

N.I.N.E.

Ponyboy had already disappeared down the hall before I'd remembered his promise to explain things to me at lunch. He had dropped me off in front of my Economics class which boring as it was, left me plenty of time to ponder the environment that I had just been thrown into as the teacher droned on about inflation. I scribbled notes absentmindedly, doodling in the margins until the bell rang and I was swept off by another friend of Ponyboy who brought me to Spanish with a wave and an invitation to get a coke after school with some buddies of his, Ponyboy too of course.

Mrs. Bermudez was eccentric to put it nicely, and insisted we speak only in Spanish, a feat I was not yet ready to conquer as my Spanish skills leave much to be desired. She made the class interesting though and I let my thoughts flow to fantasies of Mexico or Spain or some place where things made sense, or where I could just sit on a beach if they didn't.

I finished off the day with gym, wishing it were Art since I considered myself a decent artist and enjoyed painting, watercolors especially.

I decided to take advantage of my situation though and timidly advanced the gym teachers office after 35 minutes of girls basketball where we learned how to dribble, going back and forth across the gym a dozen times. On the other side of the gym we could hear the boys, and the girls frequently stopped to try and peek through the cracks in the divider to see the boys rough game, giggling to themselves and pointing.

I tugged on the hem of my uniform gym shorts that Mr. Adams had provided me with that morning in preparation for the class and knocked on the door as the other girls left to shower and change before going home. I had to meet Ponyboy in fifteen minutes, he was going to walk me back to the home.

"How can I help you Ms. Curtis?", Mrs. McMann asked me in a curt voice.

I had heard she was the advisor for the cheer team so I cleared my throat and tried not to look at my feet.

"I was wondering if I could possibly join the Cheerleading squad"

She narrowed her eyes and looked me up and down, "Yes, well, you'll have to wait till next year of course, the team is already set this year."

"I heard someone say about needing a replacement, a girl with a broken ankle" I said, "I have experience, I was head cheerleader for my team in Arizona."

"You're related to Ponyboy, Amber?"

I nodded, not sure what that had to do with the cheer team.

"I'm afraid there really isn't room on the squad for…your type"

She must have noticed my confused look because she went on, none to kindly, "Your brother and his riff-raff friends, I won't have them hanging around my girls, harassing them, killing their boyfriends, once is enough if you catch my drift."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't follow."

"Don't be daft girl, your brother and his no good friend killed someone in a fury of jealousy and spite, the boyfriend of someone on the squad, and I know she'll want nothing to do with you and your murderer brother."

I felt myself sway on my feet before I bolted out of the office, changing in a daze and then sprinting out the doors onto the street.

I didn't know where I was going, I didn't care, Mrs. McMann had spoken out of turn, she hated me, I didn't know why but it was enough that she would make up horrible lies about my brother and his friends.

Except Jake had called him a murderer too.

I stopped running, leaning over to catch my breath, hands on my knees.

Walking now, tears rimming my eyes I realized I was lost, late to meet Ponyboy, confused and miserable.

I needed someone to talk to, I needed Johnny but I had no idea where he lived except that it was only a few blocks from the vacant lot near my house.

I thought about the drive from my house to the home and figured I was about halfway in between and walked quickly in the direction that I thought would bring me towards my house.

Reaching the vacant lot half an hour later due to being picked up in a souped up Chevy with peeling paint and a lot of rust I made my way down the road looking around at the battered houses. My brother's house at least had a good roof, thanks to Darry. A lot of these houses looked like one gust of wind and they'd fall down.

The tiny A-frame house where I found Johnny was no different, He was sitting on his front porch smoking and reading a thick paperback.

I came stumbling up the stairs, tears clouding my vision and choked out his name in a strangled voice.

"Amber! What's wrong?" His eyebrows shot up under his thick black hair in surprise.

"I need to talk to you" I wrapped my arms around myself and he rolled himself into the house so I could sit on the sunk-in couch and be eye level with him.

"Do you want a glass of water or anything?"

I shook my head "I need answers Johnny, no one will talk to me."

He sighed with a nod and took my hand in his "Amber I don't even know where to start"

"Why do they keep calling Ponyboy a murderer? Why do they tell me he's trash and I'm better than him? Why are people surprised that Ponyboy is my brother and use words I don't know or understand?"

Johnny had gone white with my first question and let go of my hand, rolling over to his coffee table and searching through some papers, pulled out a thick essay looking paper stapled in the left corner.

"It's Ponyboy's" He said in explanation "He had to write it for your English class after…well you'll see, I think it'll explain things pretty well."

I looked up at him, his eyes were full of pain but still held that glint of knowledge and he nodded in encouragement.

So I read my brother's essay, I read about the Socs and Greasers, I read about him being jumped, the movies, Darry hitting him, the park, the kids who tried to kill him, and Johnny pulling the knife.

Johnny had been quiet the whole time, just letting me read, read things that I did not want to know even though they were right in front of my face all day.

I sank to my knees, putting my hands on Johnny's knees.

"This isn't true, it isn't" I said looking down at the paper I had dropped on the ground like it were burning hot when I got to the murder of Bob Sheldon.

"Yes it is Amber" His words were final "I killed that boy."

"No you didn't, you didn't!" I yelled, tears pouring down my cheeks

He grabbed hold of my flailing arms "I had to Amber, they would have killed Pony" He looked desperate and I buried my head in my arms, on his legs so I wouldn't see those eyes of his.

His hand was real gentle smoothing my hair, over and over. Not the hands of a murderer, they were the hands of a boy who should not be stuck in a wheelchair the rest of his life over a fight in the park.

Because Johnny could walk before all this happened, I didn't know what had happened that he couldn't now, but he could.

I looked up into his eyes and ran a hand down his face, the raised scar that was whiter than the rest of his face felt too real under my fingertips and I had to remove my hand before I got sick all over his lap.

"Oh, Johnny…why? Over money?"

"I've asked myself a thousand times, why, Amber, why? There is no answer."

"What happened to you?" I whispered

"Our hideout caught fire with some kids in it, Pony and I pulled them out but I broke my back in the process, it was worth it though, for those kids. They've got more going for them than me"

He gazed around his house, signs of a shattered home and family lay around the house, it was ill-kempt and few things in the house weren't broken.

"Things haven't been so bad since Dad took off, he couldn't handle me in this chair. Mom doesn't talk to me much."

"So people think, that because of my clothes that I'm a…soc, but when they find out who I am they put me into the category of a greaser, and never take the time to really get to know who I am?" I asked.

Johnny nodded "Pathetic ain't it? Darry who works as hard as he does and is smarter than anyone I know is marked lousy because he doesn't have the money other boys do. Soda with his funny personality and how nice he is an all, they don't care, 'cept the girls who just like to look at him, they'd never date him though. And Ponyboy, Pony is a good kid, real brainy, Darry wants him to have a future and is sacrificing himself to make sure he does, but none of that matters here."

"But if we know we're good people, then why should we care if they don't like us?"

"I don't think Darry and Soda mind much, but it bugs Ponyboy something awful, like it's going to bother you. All you can do is try to make do with what you're given."

I nodded, swiping an arm across my red eyes.

"Just be yourself Amber, it's a good person to be, specially for you" he said blushing slightly.

I leaned over and hugged him fiercely as Ponyboy came bursting through the door.

"Johnny have you seen Amber?" He asked, skidding to a halt when he saw me.

"Where were you? I've been worried sick!" He exclaimed.

I wondered if he knew how much he sounded like Darry.

"Sorry Pony, I needed my questions answered, you wouldn't answer them directly so I found another source." I showed him his English essay and he looked at me as though he thought I would no longer want to be his sister.

I sniffed back another spell of tears and hugged him with all my might "It's ok Ponyboy, everything will be ok"

I didn't know how anything would ever be ok again, but in my brother's arms I felt as though I could at least handle and accept the truth in which I was faced with.


	10. TEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing

T.E.N.

I almost missed my interview with the Masters; Peter and Alice, but I made it back to the home in time to have Mr. Adams throw a brush in my hand and demand that I wash the tear stains off my face. Before I knew it I was sitting in a room with two exceptionally well dressed people who were looking me up and down and listening to Mr. Adams go on about my life in Arizona.

"So you went to private school then?" Alice asked.

I nodded and pushed back the hair that had fallen in my face, "But only because it was the only school in my neighborhood, the public school was about half an hour away."

Alice nodded thoughtfully and I went back to staring at the floor as Mr. Adams continued talking about my good marks, being on the cheer team, all my friends and accomplishments.

All I could think about was Ponyboy and Johnny and the fact that it was people like me, people like my friends, the well off people in the world that made them out to be horrible people, who forced them to kill in order to live.

"Amber?"

I looked up at Peter and wondered how long he had been calling my name.

"Would you please give my wife and I a minute to discuss the matter over?" He asked

I nodded and was lead out of the room by Mr. Adams.

A few minutes later the door opened and Peter lead Alice out, standing in front of me they smiled.

"We would love to have you as a part of our family," Peter said "You seem to be just what we're looking for in a daughter."

I nodded and tried to look happy but my eyes clouded over with tears, I would never get back to my brothers at this rate.

"I best get upstairs and pack then" I mumbled and dashed up the stairs, my feet echoing on the wood.

"Wow Amber, I heard you landed the Masters, we've all been trying to get them to take us on, they're so rich!" Linda said when I entered the room.

I swiped a hand over my eyes and picked up the stray clothes around my bed, shoving them into my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.

"See you in school" I murmured.

Peter took my bag and put it in the trunk of his mustang, opening the back door for me. I slid in thinking about Ryan and the time we had spent in the backseat of his mustang. I was wishing that if I couldn't be with my brothers, that I could at least be back in Arizona with him.

They were talking, laying out rules, telling me about their reasons for wanting a foster child, but I couldn't listen, I let the wind ring in my ears instead, blocking them out.

"Do you have any questions?" They asked as we pulled up to their large, expensive looking house, well lit as if waiting for them to get home.

"Will I be able to see my brothers aside from school?" I asked.

They exchanged a look, "We think it would be best if you only associate with our kind from now on Amber. We have our reputation to think about and we can't have you getting into any trouble, any friends in which you want to go out with will have to be approved by us first, I hope you understand." Peter said.

I nodded and wondered, if I dressed Ponyboy up in Madras and expensive after-shave if he'd pass for someone acceptable. He would be nicer than all other socs that I had met.

Peter carried my bag up to a large room, larger than my room in Arizona and about three times bigger than my room with my brothers and set it on the bed which was made with pristine white sheets and a down comforter. The walls were a pale pink, the floor a shiny wood. There was a fireplace with a shag rug next to it and three windows that faced a large backyard with a nicely mowed lawn.

A plump lady came in and started to unpack for me, I watched her dumbly.

"Mrs. Lynch, you can ask her for anything you need." Alice said, examining my clothes.

"We'll have to go shopping tomorrow, this isn't an adequate supply."

No wonder the girls at the home had wanted to be taken in by these people, I had never been in the lap of such luxury. It seemed oddly ironic that I found myself pining now, more than ever for the house with the peeling paint and rambunctious boys splayed on the old furniture.

Dinner was amazing and rich but I could barely choke down the little I had put on my plate, Peter and Alice took it for nerves and sent me up to bed. Alice kissed me on the cheek and Peter gave me an awkward hug and I thought that I wouldn't mind having them for parents if they'd only take my brothers too and accept who they were. But already I was starting to understand and lose my ignorance, that wouldn't happen and I wouldn't be allowed to see my brothers because they didn't have money and I did. Tulsa was split in half and as far as I could tell there was little hope of the gap ever being bridged to bring the two groups together. I was stranded in the middle, lost and drowning, clinging to the hope that something would happen soon to put in my rightful place.

Ponyboy didn't look impressed to see my pull up in the Mustang the next morning though I could see him eyeing the car enviously. He scowled when Peter called me 'dear' and didn't approach me until after the car was out of sight.

We didn't speak to each other until we were a few feet away from our homeroom.

"I guess you like it pretty well there huh? They can give you anything you want." He said

I didn't know how he'd found out that I had been taken in by the Masters, though I guess he could put two and two together.

"It's ok, I would rather be with you though, and you know it" I said

He shrugged and walked into homeroom without me, leaving me in the hall by myself.

The rest of the week was strained, Ponyboy was unable to believe that I wasn't thrilled with my new living conditions.

Showing up in the new clothes Alice had bought me didn't help matters, nor did showing up and leaving in the Mustang.

On Thursday Jake approached the car with me, leaning over the door, greeting Peter and asking permission to drive me home from now on. He flashed his prize winning smile and Peter agreed, smiling broadly as Jake opened the door for me, checked to make sure my skirt wasn't in the way of the door, and closed it.

"Nice fellow that Jake, I know his father, his business operates closely with mine."

I resisted the urge to air my true feelings about Jake and stared instead at the sidewalks flashing by.

The next day came and went too quickly as I found myself cornered by Jake after art class and brought to his expensive looking convertible.

"How about we go get a coke before I drop you off?"

"I think I should just go home, Peter didn't say anything about my having to go out with you too" I replied, none too nicely.

"He won't mind" His hand slid over onto my knee

"Just bring me home, or I'll scream" I said turning myself so that I was practically sitting sideways.

Jake peeled out of the parking lot and drove, way over the speed limit, back to the Master's house, pulling into the driveway and walking me to the door.

"Bye" I said trying to close the door on him.

"One sec, babe." He sneered and pushed open the door, walking in to find Alice in the living room reading a book.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Masters, I was wondering if it would be ok for me to take Amber out tonight perhaps to get dinner and a movie?"

I looked at her pleadingly to say no, however she, like many females was taken with his charming smile and nodded "I don't think that would be a problem."

"I'll pick you up at six then" and he was gone.

I threw the flowers that he brought down on the table next to the front door and took a deep breath trying to convince myself that the night wouldn't be a total disaster. When he parked the car in a secluded spot covered with trees I knew I was wrong. His lips were like ice, rough and cold and I pushed him away with all my strength.

"Lets get dinner before we do anything like this" I requested

He smirked "Like to work on a full stomach do you?"

I was biding my time, hoping we would get into a car accident or be abducted by aliens on our way to or from dinner, but I nodded in reply to his snide question and he drove off to a restaurant with checked table cloths and Italian food.

Around eight we left after Jake paid the bill and barely left a tip. I stopped in the parking lot clutching my stomach and moaned.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked in an annoyed voice.

"I think I'm going to be sick"

It wasn't an out and out lie, the smell of his cologne and his overall attitude made me queasy.

"I'm sure you're fine"

"Do you want me to throw up all over your upholstery? Just bring me home" I snapped.

He was a man who took great pride in his car, so he handed me a bag in case I did throw up and sped off towards the Master's house.

Once in the driveway he made a move to lean over and kiss me, seeing as to how I hadn't throw up despite his speeding, and coming to a jerking halt at all the red lights.

I put a hand to my mouth and jumped out of the car, making as if I was about to be sick all over and watched as he hightailed it out of the driveway and down the road.

I laughed to myself and walked into the house.

"Home already Amber?"

I nodded "I'm not feeling well, I'm going to go up to bed."

Alice came over and smoothed my hair back, feeling my forehead, "You don't seem to have a fever, what a shame to not feel well on your first date with Jake, he's such a nice boy."

I nodded and climbed the stairs up to my room, throwing myself onto my bed staring listlessly across the room until I dozed off.

A knock on the window woke me up and I sat up startled unsure if I had really heard the noise. It seemed improbable that anyone would be able to knock on my window, being that it was on the second floor.

Another rap on the window convinced me as I hurried over and opened it, coming face to face with Dallas Winston.


	11. ELEVEN

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Diclaimer: I still own nothing

A/N: Dallas )

E.L.E.V.E.N.

I stared open mouthed as Dallas climbed easily through the window, as if he had come into countless girls second floor bedrooms at ten o'clock at night.

He surveyed the room, a faint sneer on his face before turning to me.

My heart pounded, I hadn't seen him since that first night in Tulsa, I was hit again with that love struck feeling as I watched his eyes travel the room and then to me.

He was wearing a black shirt and a leather jacket with jeans and boots, his hair fell over his forehead in such a way that I wanted to reach out and push it out of his face, but I got the feeling he would break my wrist if I tried. His eyes were still cold, possibly more so in the Master's house.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, thinking fleetingly that he had come out of feelings for me.

"Your brothers want to see you"

"So why didn't one of them come to get me?" I asked

"Can't afford any more trouble after Pony and Johnny killed that kid, sent me instead."

He lit a cigarette, which I snatched out of his hand and threw out the window before I could think about what I was doing. The Masters could smell cigarette smoke a mile away and did not like it polluting their house.

I had been sneaking smokes in between classes behind the school. Even that was a segregated affair, the Socs took the side of the school with the trees, the Greasers, the side with the dumpsters. I stood in the middle, Ponyboy still refusing to say much to me, the Socs acting as if I was a dangerous bomb that might explode any minute and infect them with my orphan status.

Dallas looked livid "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You can smoke it down there" I hissed swinging my leg out the window, though I was unsure of how I would get down.

"Take a coat stupid, it's freezing out there." He growled

I glared at him and snatched my coat

"God, you and Pony both, you don't think at all do ya?"

He swung himself out the window and I could see that he was standing on the white picket fence looking ladder that ran the length of the house and was covered in ivy.

I followed him out and I felt his arm encircle my waist as we climbed down as noiselessly as possible.

He let me go the second my feet hit the ground and he searched the ground for his cigarette.

"For God's sake, take one of mine" I said handing him one from the inside pocket of my coat.

He lit it, taking a deep drag and then started off with his long strides towards the front of the house and down the street. I practically had to jog to keep up.

"What do my brothers want?" I asked as we neared an old T-Bird.

"What do I look like, a mind reader? Get in" He retorted.

I pulled open the rusted door and grasped the door handle for dear life as Dallas sped even more quickly than Jake down the road, leaving tire marks in the road.

As we came to a screeching halt at a red light I lit a cigarette for myself to steady my nerves, now I truly did feel as though I would throw up. Being next to Dallas made me nervous and I was worried something was wrong with Darry or Soda or Pony.

We finally reached the house, Dallas didn't stay, merely dropped me off and left saying he would be back in three hours to pick me up and bring me back to the Masters.

I walked into the house wishing I could just lay down with Soda and Pony in the big bed in the room that should be mine and sleep for the next week, wake up and live happily with them and Darry, but I knew that couldn't happen.

"Darry?" I called. "Soda, Pony, I'm here"

Darry came out of the kitchen and wrapped me in a hug. I don't think he wanted me to know that he had been watching for Dallas's car from the kitchen window.

"Darry, is something wrong?" I asked.

"Not really, I just wanted to talk to you about a few things."

I nodded, "Where are Soda and Pony…they aren't angry at me are they? You know I don't like living at the Masters right Darry? You know I'd rather be here than there"

"I know, Amber, I know…and so do they. Pony feels awful for how he's been acting, it's just so hard for us." He said helplessly. "Soda and Pony will be here in a few minutes, I sent them out for a walk so they'd stop pacing the room waiting for you."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"About getting you back, of course. I've been talking to some people and researching night and day and I think we have a fairly good shot." Darry said shuffling through a stack of handwritten papers.

"We can't afford a lawyer though, if the state didn't listen before, why would they now without making it a legal proceeding?" I asked.

"The Masters can't adopt you when you have living relatives who are the legal age to be your guardians, I turned twenty one last year, that makes me legal. Now we just need to convince them that I'm fit to take care of you."

"We should stick Mr. Adams in the house with you for a week while you force him to do his homework and wash the dishes" Soda said from the door "You could even give him a bedtime, just like Ponyboy"

"Very funny little man" Darry said as Soda came across the room and enveloped me in a hug. Ponyboy was hanging back, looking ashamed and nervous.

I offered him a smile to let him know I wasn't angry, and he came over sitting next to me taking my hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked gazing up at Darry who resembled our father so strongly according to the pictures strewn around the house, that it made my stomach constrict in longing for the father I never knew.

"Appeal the state's decision, I've arranged a meeting with Mr. Adams and some other important people next week, Thursday, after you and Pony get out of school." Darry said. "I don't know if there's much we can do in preparation."

"Got any dirt on the Masters Amber?" Soda asked

"You mean besides the fact that they're forcing her to go out with a psychotic football player?" Pony said with a scowl.

I shook my head, "They're nice people, and they make real good parents…just not for me." I said with a shrug.

"I'm thinking this will fall mostly on you, like it should, Amber, so just be honest, no matter what you say, we won't be angry with you." Darry promised.

I nodded, "Lets put this aside for the night, I just wanna spend some time with you guys before I have to go back."

Darry nodded and put the papers aside and for the next two and a half hours we hung out and talked, watched some TV, Two-Bit came over boozed up and extremely cheerful bringing noise and the strong smell of beer with him. Steve showed up awhile later, jumping over the back of the couch and landing in between Soda and myself, nearly sitting on our laps.

I clung to Darry's arm as Dallas pulled up to the curb (running over it in the process) and swaggered into the room.

"Don't make me go back Darry" I begged.

Darry smiled, "If all goes according to plan, you'll be back here by the end of next week, until then, hang in there."

I nodded "Ya'll will come and have lunch with me and Pony again this week right?" I asked.

I wouldn't follow Dallas out the door until they had all promised.

Once assured that I would see them soon, I hugged my brothers, kissed Two-Bit on the cheek and received a punch on the shoulder from Steve and left with Dallas who still wasn't talking to me.

The car ride back was quiet, and the silence rang in my ears.

"Thanks for getting me" I stammered as we neared the Master's house and Dallas pulled over to the curb so let me out a safe distance from the house so his car wouldn't be spotted.

He grunted in return leaving me to feel helpless amongst my feelings for him.

"I uh, think I can manage alright by myself from here…thanks again, really, I appreciate it." I said opening the car door, and before I could think about what I was doing I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, before hurrying out of the car and running to the dark house a few yards away.

I scurried up the side of the house as quietly as possible, crawling in through the window and laying down on my bed trying to still my beating my heart, but there was no calming myself down, I was in love with Dallas Winston, and that was nothing to be calm about.


	12. TWELVE

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing

T.W.E.L.V.E

The next week dragged on slowly as I waited for Thursday to come. I started leaving the house an hour early in the morning under the guise of tutoring someone in Spanish in order to avoid Jake and spend more time with my brothers. Dallas would pick me up down the road and take me to the house where I'd eat with the guys and then Dallas would drop off Two-Bit, Steve, Pony and I at school on his way to doing whatever he did during the day. The first car ride on Monday morning was torture, he wouldn't look at me or acknowledge my presence, just stepped on the gas and headed off towards the house as my books fell off my lap onto the floor. I didn't know what to say and figured it was better to stay silent rather than say something I might regret and that would keep him from picking me up.

On the way to school the others talked loudly enough that they didn't notice that Dallas and I weren't joining in. Some days Two-Bit and Steve would drive themselves or each other depending on whose car was actually running, but Dallas was always there in the morning. I guess he had the least to lose if he were to get caught.

Monday turned out to be better than I had expected it to. As I was trying to shut my locker at the end of the day a girl with bright red hair and a pretty face approached me with a smile. She was a Soc, I could tell easily of course due to her neat appearance and lack of make-up. The smile made me nervous, but it reached her eyes and I was pretty sure she didn't mean any harm as she stopped next to me.

"You're Ponyboy's sister aren't you?" She asked

I nodded, she seemed familiar, I had seen her in the halls but I almost felt like I knew her.

"I'm Sherri Valance, you can call me Cherry though, everyone else does." She said extending a hand.

Cherry Valance, Johnny had killed her boyfriend.

I winced to think of it.

"I heard what happened with Mrs. McMann, I wanted to let you know that she was out of line to say that. She's bitter because she's getting fired this year and she knows it. I'm captain of the squad and if you want to audition on Friday I'd love to see you ."

I looked at her uneasily not sure if I should trust her or not.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I finally asked.

She looked uncomfortable and couldn't quite meet my gaze, "Well, I mean, I know Ponyboy and he's a good kid, I guess I want to help you out because he helped me, though he may not know it."

"I don't want charity on my brother's account" I said carefully "I would want to be judged fair and square and only make the team if I'm good enough"

She nodded "Fair enough, I'll see you Friday then." She turned to leave and then turned back, "You're different Amber, I think you might be what this school needs to bring the people together, you really don't fit in with either group do you?"

I shook my head but said with a wry smile "I may not fit in, but I'm a greaser, same as my brothers, and here come your friends so maybe you should stop talking to me so they don't give you or me a hard time." I didn't mean it to sound mean and she knew it because she nodded and headed off to greet her friends who were shouting plans to go out and grab a coke.

I slammed my locker shut and turned around to go whirling into Steve and his girlfriend who clung to his arm chewing a piece of gum loudly.

"What were you doing talking to her?" Steve asked in his patronizing voice that he reserved for Ponyboy and me.

"Just talking about stuff, cheerleading, she invited me to tryout."

"You know who she is right?" He asked

"I'm not stupid, I know who she is, she knows who I am, it's fine." I said.

Steve had a way of putting me on edge and making me feel inferior.

"You want a ride to the DX?" He asked, his voice softening a little.

His girlfriend whined that she didn't want to go to the DX and that she didn't trust the two of us to go alone.

He told her I was just Soda's kid sister and to shut up about it, he was doing him a favor.

I felt my face go red and I backed away as they got into an argument that quickly ended with Steve kissing her roughly.

"Amber!"

I whirled around halfway across the lawn and saw Johnny on the front steps of the school.

I ran over to him in surprise and dropped down next to him on the stairs, "what are you doing here Johnny?" I asked.

"Seein' if I could get back into school" he blushed a little as he said this.

"Yeah?" I asked "What'd they say?"

"Said I'd have to start back a grade, missed too much school"

"So that would put you with me and Pony! We could help you with anything you need help with" I said getting excited.

Two-Bit came out of the double doors behind us and sat down next to me slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"Good news about the kid huh?"

I nodded and smiled up at Johnny again who fairly beamed and looked away as another blush crept across his face.

"We're going to The Dingo, want to grab Ponyboy and come with us?" Two-Bit asked standing up and dusting off the seat of his pants.

I nodded "I'll go find Ponyboy" I said as Two-Bit wheeled Johnny down the ramp and towards the parking lot.

"We'll drive around and pick you up in the front" Two-Bit called as I ran back into the school and searched the halls for Ponyboy.

I found him in front of his locker talking to a girl with long jet black hair that fell to her waist in curls.

"Hey Ponyboy" I said walking up to them afraid I was interrupting something.

It never crossed my mind that Ponyboy would be interested in girls while I was so wrapped up in my feelings for Dallas.

"Hey Amber, ready to go home?" He asked turning away from the girl who gave me a nasty scowl that I could feel being pressed into the back of my head.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." I said uneasily casting a sideways look at the girl.

"Neah, this is just Tim's sister Angela, I was waiting for you."

I shuddered at the thought of Tim and then wished I hadn't as the girl looked ready to jump me on the spot.

"Two-Bit and Johnny are out front waiting for us."

"Ok, bye Angela" He said with a wave and fell into step next to me. "I haven't seen Angela in years, she's been dating some guy who apparently isn't working out, I don't know why she started talking to me now, we never were close."

I thought it was pretty obvious that she had a thing for him, based on her reaction to my showing up, but I didn't say anything in hopes that he wouldn't realize this and date the girl.

"What is Johnny doing here?" He asked as we reached the doors and walked towards Two-Bits beat up car.

"Signing back up for school" I said with a grin "Isn't it great?"

He looked a little worried but nodded in agreement, sliding into the backseat next to Johnny and sharing a glance as opposed to exchanging words.

I got in the front next to Two-Bit and we sped off towards The Dingo which was already packed with kids, hanging out in the parking lot, leaning into each others' cars.

I loved the atmosphere and smiled as a boy a few years older than me came to my open window and leaned against the roof in order to talk to us.

Another kid on the other side of the car was talking to Ponyboy and waving his arms animatedly telling him a story that ended with someone getting stabbed and a trip to the hospital.

An hour later Two-Bit started the car, "I better get you kids home"

I sighed, I always hated going back to the Masters house, especially after being with my brothers and the gang, it just didn't seem fair.

Dinner was normally quiet, but nice, with Peter and Alice talking about their day and asking me about mine.

Today neither of them looked happy and I found out why after all the food had been passed around.

"We got a letter today Amber" Peter said

I looked up from my mashed potatoes wondering if I was in trouble already at school.

"It's a court order, it seems your brother is trying to claim custody of you"

I nodded "He is my legal guardian" I said pushing my plate away, no longer hungry.

"Oh Amber, we know he's your brother and you love him, but he just can't take care of you" Alice said.

"Yes he can, I know he can, they're my family and I should be with them" I protested

"But we love you Amber, we want to be your family" Alice said, she looked hurt.

"If you really love me you'd want me to be happy, you two are wonderful people but I'm not happy, I want to be with my brothers, please help me"

They looked at each other but neither of them spoke, pushing myself away from the table I ran up to my room and locked the door.

Opening the window I swung myself out onto the white makeshift ladder and hurried down the side of the house not knowing where to go once I reached the bottom.

Darry would be mad at me for running away, it would look bad if I were to show up at the house.

I don't know why I had left the house like I did, and I wished I hadn't once the cold seeped into my skin, I had forgotten a jacket.

I could easily turn back and get back into the house before they realized I was gone, but I was reluctant to give up my freedom. It occurred to me that not once since I had found my way to Tulsa had I been alone and unaccounted for.

I sighed at the thought that my life was constantly in someone else's hands, it just wasn't fair, nothing lately was fair. My life back in Arizona wasn't fair, but at least I had some say in what I did, here in Tulsa I was lucky that I was allowed to dress myself. It was a frustrating feeling that left me feeling temperamental. I'm fifteen years old, I could make decisions for myself I thought, kicking a rock in the middle of the street. I just had to hold out until Thursday, if the judge said I couldn't live with Darry I would threaten to kill myself and maybe even fake an attempt in order to convince them that I meant business.

I retreated back to the Masters house and crept inside, an hour later Alice came to the door to say goodnight. She didn't mention the letter or the hearing, just kissed my forehead and closed the door again.

The rest of the week dragged on in a hazy dream so that when I woke up on Thursday I felt as though I had been asleep since that Monday night.

School was a nightmare as images of the judge sentencing me to a lifetime with the Masters flickered through my mind.

"Hello, anyone home?" Two-Bit asked waving a hand in front of my face during lunch.

I looked up at him and forced a smile, "What?"

"I said, are you ready for this afternoon?" He repeated

I felt sick to my stomach and I could feel the color draining out of me. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Everything will be fine kid." He reassured me

Ponyboy caught my gaze and I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nerves.

Everything will be fine.


	13. THIRTEEN

Five For Fighting

Five For Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

T.H.I.R.T.E.E.N.

The courtroom though it wasn't really a courtroom, just a small office like room with ten or so seats and long table for the state people to sit behind was overheated and was making me sweat under the thick cable knit sweater I was wearing to ward off the cold winds blowing outside. I was nervous and my hands were clammy as I gripped them tightly on my lap in front of me. The Masters were seated one on either side of me and further down the table was an identical pitcher of water to the one placed in front of us, already half empty as Darry drained glass after glass in rapid succession, I guess the heat was getting to him too.

The Masters had identical tightly drawn expressions on their faces, neither of them had spoken to me much that week and were obviously taking my decision to fight for my brothers as a personal insult. I didn't blame them and I hated to hurt them but every time I looked at my brothers down the table I knew I couldn't stand living with anyone but them.

It was a private hearing so the gang couldn't come even though they had wanted to, Darry said they'd have to settle for waiting in the house for us to get back, hopefully with all of my belongings with us. The Masters didn't know, but I was already packed…or maybe they did.

The people from the state came in together, a line of black business suites and briefcases sitting down at the front table.

I really didn't know what to expect, fighting and yelling maybe, the slamming of the gravel, lawyers marching in, restraining orders…all the things you see in a courtroom drama on TV. Instead, they talked to Darry about his ability to take care of me as well as Soda and Pony and asked about his job and finances and other things that I knew Darry didn't like to talk about cause of his pride, but he handled it all real well and came off sounding like an adult that could take on the world. Then they talked to me about anything and everything and finally ended with asking me where I would rather live. I answered as honestly as I could, saying I wanted to be with my real family even if the Masters were really nice people and I thought Darry could and would take really good care of me cause Pony was always complaining about Darry making him study all the time and stuff.

The Masters didn't have a lot to say when they were asked for comments, just that they felt it would be in my best interest to stay in a stable environment where money and safety wasn't an issue. I saw Darry clench his fists at this comment and wished to God the whole thing would be over soon.

After a half hour "recess" the board members came back into the room and took their seats, shuffled some papers and cleared their throats.

"Darrel, we are awarding you custody of Amber July Curtis on a probation status, meaning that along with your monthly visits from the state you will be prone to random check ins and phone calls. You'll be monitored along with your siblings and prone to the revocation of custody to all three siblings should the state be at all displeased with events taking place in your home. Is that understood?"

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until it was squeezed out of me by Soda who had jumped over the table, run over to me and picked me up in a bone crushing hug.

Darry was shaking hands with all of the board members and I was transferred into Pony's arms while Darry was brought into the backroom to sign papers and do some other legal junk.

The Masters looked defeated and turned their backs on us as we celebrated in the middle of the room.

I broke loose from Pony's grip and timidly approached Alice putting my hand on her shoulder softly, "I'm really sorry, I hope you know how grateful I am for everything you did for me, I just…I haven't been with my family ever really and well, you really are nice people and I didn't mean to hurt you"

Alice forced a smile, "We understand Amber, we just want you to be happy, why don't you and your brothers have dinner at our house tonight and you can get yourself packed and then go home?"

My respect grew for her ten fold then as Peter placed an arm around her thin shoulders, "We'll wait for you outside, you can come back to the house with us now and your brothers can come over in about an hour, that should be enough time for everyone to do what has to be done"

I nodded and smiled at them as they left the room and the door swung shut behind them.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Darry standing tall and strong over me.

"They're good people" He said "You could have been happy with them"

"If I didn't have you guys, maybe" I said and buried my face in his chest

He picked me up in a hug that I will always remember, strong and protective, it was a hug that I could return to whenever I needed comfort and protection from the world.


	14. FOURTEEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing :)

F.O.U.R.T.E.E.N

I walked up the wooden stairs of the Master's house alone for the last time half an hour after Darry had released me from his hug. I could hear Peter and Alice talking in the living room below me and even though I couldn't understand what they were saying, Alice's crying was easy to comprehend. My bags were already packed with the few belongings I had come with, I didn't want to take charity, and besides, all the Madras and other expensive stuff would probably make my brothers feel bad anyway. I was going to be a Curtis and I was going to fit in even if it meant wearing Ponyboy's clothes to school instead of my own. I sat on the soft bed with a sigh, looking at the window and wishing for Dallas. I had everything now, but him.

Alice walked in a few minutes later interrupting my thoughts and sat down next to me, remaining quiet for a few minutes before picking up one of the many sweaters laid out across the bed.

"You're not taking these?" She asked in a subdued voice.

I shook my head, "My brothers aren't real rich or anything, I don't want them to feel like I'm trying to show off or something…thanks though, for everything."

She folded the sweater with tender fingers, smoothing out the wrinkles and clearing her throat, "If you ever need anything…"

Leaning over I hugged her with all my might, she was kind of like me after all, just looking for a family.

The doorbell rang and her arms went limp as Peter answered the door and the sounds of forced greetings sounded through the floor and into the room.

"I guess we best get downstairs, we don't want to keep your brothers waiting."

I nodded and picking up my bag I walked down the stairs and into the living room where my brothers were sitting, rather uncomfortably on the pristine furniture as if afraid they might ruin it. Darry was surveying the room with a slight scowl on his face, or maybe it was just longing for the chance to give this sort of room to his family. Ponyboy and

Soda simply looked awed. I didn't blame them. Their eyes only got larger when Mrs. Lynch came in and announced dinner was ready.

It was a quiet dinner and despite the delicious food and their normally insatiable appetites, my brothers didn't eat much, I didn't either.

And then it was over and I was standing outside on the front porch, my brothers waiting by the beat up Ford.

"Take care, Amber."

"If you ever need anything"

"We'll always be here"

"Goodbye"

They held each other as Darry pulled the truck away from the house, looking small and isolated under the porch light.

It was still quiet in the car, as if we were all afraid to speak and find out it was only a dream. As we pulled passed the vacant lot and reached our house (really and truly OUR house) it was all aglow, and from the street you could hear the noise of the gang inside, the music and the TV.

The party inside was loud enough to cause you to cringe and when I walked through the door not only did the noise hit me, but the people as well. The gang was all there, even Dallas.

Two-Bit picked me up and spun me around so much I thought I was going to throw up all over him, and upon telling him so, I was set down immediately.

"Don't get over excited kid," He said with a grin placing me next to Johnny, whose big brown eyes smiled at me merrily. I leaned over and hugged him tightly accepting the cigarette he offered a minute later. Leaning back on the couch I sighed happily.

"Never gonna make the team if you smoke too much" Steve said loudly over the music.

I groaned, I hadn't wanted my brothers to know I was trying out for the cheer team, since they were clearly against it.

"What team?" Darry asked

"Cheerteam…" I mumbled

"What was that?" Pony asked

"I caught her talking to that broad Cherry after school the other day, about becoming a socy cheerleader." Steve sneered

I could have killed him.

"She just offered me a chance to try-out that's all, no big deal" I said cringing under the dirty looks Dallas was sending my way.

"Gosh Amber, what do you want to be a cheerleader for?" Johnny asked

"It's fun and I like it"

"Let the kid try-out, she won't make it anyway"

Dallas

"You don't know that" I shot back "I was head cheerleader at my old school"

His eyes narrowed, "You don't get it yet do you?"

"Come on now guys, no harm in Amber trying out for the team, and what are we arguing for? This is supposed to be a celebration." Soda said, stepping into his role as mediator.

The subject was dropped as I took another cigarette to try and calm my stomach which was doing backflips over my encounter with Dallas.

The next day was try-outs, only four other girls showed up and from the looks of the audition I thought I had a pretty good shot. Cherry smiled at me as I came in and I waved nervously, sitting on the ground and stretching my legs. It was a standard audition and I could do most everything they asked. I performed a cheer from my old school and ended feeling good about my chances. The four girls and I sat together in a nervous silence as the girls on the squad went into another room to discuss.

Cherry smiled at me again when they finally returned about twenty minutes later and I knew I'd gotten it.

"Do you think you could come over to my house tomorrow so we can go over some of the cheers? You need to know them for the game next Friday, and you have a lot to learn" Cherry requested after all the other girls had congratulated me and left.

I nodded, "Sure, I'm sure someone will give me a ride over."

"Great, I'll see you then," and she was gone.

That night at dinner I kept shoving my food around my plate until Darry put a hand to my forehead to check for a fever.

"Anything wrong Amber?" He asked.

"No…But um..Darry, I made the squad." I said.

My brothers exchanged a look of surprise, "Oh, well congratulations!" Soda said "I bet you'll make a great cheerleader"

I smiled at him gratefully.

"The thing is, I need a ride, to Cherry Valance's house tomorrow, to learn the cheers…"

"I'll take you, don't worry kiddo" Darry said, "Is that why you weren't eating? Afraid we'd throw you out of the house when we found out you were a cheerleader?"

I smiled sheepishly and shrugged, digging into my food with a bit more energy as the screen door slammed and Two-Bit came in looking for people to go to the Nightly Double with him.

"Good job Amber! Really, good job!" Cherry said as we flopped down onto the soft sofas of her den after going through several cheers. Her house was huge, even bigger than the Master's. Darry drew in his breath as he dropped me off in front of it earlier that day but kept his thoughts to himself and told me to call when I needed to come home.

Her housekeeper came into the room with two glasses of water and sliced apples and as we ate Cherry asked about Pony and our living situation and really showed interest in getting to know me. She told me about her encounters with the gang a few months before and got a funny look on her face all of the sudden.

"Can I tell you a secret Amber?"

I nodded, pleased she would trust me with a secret already, I was really hoping we would be good friends.

"You promise you won't tell anyone?"

I nodded my head again.

"I'm in love with Dallas Winston."


	15. FIFTEEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing

F.I.F.T.E.E.N.

I choked on my water as she continued, "I know it's strange, he's really not my type, but since Bob…well since that night, I can't get my mind off him."

Tears had gathered in my eyes but whether they were from choking or the knowledge that someone else loved Dallas, I don't know.

"You won't tell him will you? I know you and your brothers are friends with him, but I just had to tell someone"

"No" I whispered "I won't tell"

"Thanks Amber, I knew I could trust you." She bit into an apple and looked contemplative, "do you know if he's seeing anyone?"

I shook my head, I honestly had never thought about it.

"Oh…well could you find out? Ask Pony maybe? I don't think I could ever really date him, what with him being a grea…well what with him being who he is, but still…."

"I'll ask." I said, my voice shaking slightly.

I had to wonder if Cherry had taken me under her wing for the sole intention of having a go-between with Dallas, it was a horrible thought that made me cringe.

"I think I better call Darry to come and get me." I mumbled

"Oh, well I'll drive you home" she offered with a smile standing up and smoothing her cheer skirt.

I nodded and pulled my sweatshirt on over my T-shirt and following her out to her shiny red car parked along the curb in front of the house.

"Hey Amber, how'd the practice go?" Soda asked as I walked in the door and dropped down onto the couch.

"It was ok"

"Just ok? Something wrong kiddo?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "No, not really" I said with a forced smile.

Soda patted me on the shoulder, "Well listen, the guys are all down by the lot playing some football, you wanna come?"

"Ok" I agreed pulling on the shoes I had just abandoned by the door and following him back outside.

Soda didn't pry as to my silence on our way to the lot, for which I was grateful, the last thing I wanted was for him to know about my interest in Dallas and depending on his reaction to this piece of information, I didn't want his sympathy or his relief that I was up against the stiff competition of Cherry Valance.

After all I had read it myself in Ponyboy's English composition, Dallas had hit on her that night, he was already interested.

"Amber!"

I stopped short and realized I had nearly run into Johnny in his chair. He was sitting on the makeshift sidelines watching Steve and Two-Bit chase after Ponyboy.

"Well gee buddy, why don't you take a little longer getting here next time" Steve said as Soda ran out onto the field to join them.

"Aw, shove off, I ran into Amber on my way"

"Count on the kid to hold us all up"

"Shut up, Steve!" Pony said taking the football and shoving it hard into Steve's chest, "You and Soda against me and Two-Bit, when Dallas and Darry show up they can pick sides."

Steve looked ready to tackle him then and there but Soda held him back.

"How have you been Amber?" Johnny asked.

I took a seat next to him on the grass, "Not too bad" I lied "I made cheer team"

Johnny smiled a real genuine smile, "I knew you would."

We had a really nice conversation, Johnny and Me as the boys on the field continued to tackle each other, yelling and screaming and getting covered in mud. Dallas and Darry showed up not too much later. I could tell Darry had had a hard day at work by the way his shoulders were sagging but he was always up for a good competition and joined Pony's side tackling Soda within the first minute. Dallas strutted himself up and down the field, almost like he was too much in control to just let go and have fun. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"What do you say Johnny, let's see your stuff" Two-Bit said wheeling Johnny out onto the field, Soda threw him the ball. Tipping the chair back Two-Bit made for the end of the field, Johnny holding the ball tightly as the rest of the boys dove out of the way in mock terror. Reaching the end zone Johnny thew the ball down triumphantly, Two-Bit wheeling him around and around.

"I hear you're a cheerleader, why don't you cheer for the kid"

I looked up, pulling myself out of my thoughts and found myself under the scrutinizing glare of Dallas.

"Well you know…I'm still in training, with Cherry Valance." I stuttered, and then cursed myself for bringing her up.

"Cherry Valance huh? She's a good looking broad if I ever saw one, wouldn't give me the time of day"

He seemed to be talking to himself and when he realized it, he sneered at me and walked away.

It was hopeless, I had to act fast to get him to notice me or at least not to become aware of the fact that Cherry liked him, because it was obvious he had a thing for her.

"Dallas!" I yelled scrambling to my feet.

"What"

"Uh, do you want to come for dinner? It's my turn to cook"

"Yeah sure, got no where else to eat dinner", he said roughly.

It wasn't the most enthusiastic answer, but it was a start.


	16. SIXTEEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13 (some off color remarks in this chapter maaaybe leaning towards R)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

S.I.X.T.E.E.N.

I wouldn't call dinner a success, Dallas wolfed down the pasta with meat sauce that I had made so quickly I doubt he could have tasted it, burped loudly and made his way into the living room where he lay on the couch, sleeping with the TV turned on so loud I couldn't concentrate on my homework.

I threw my pencil down on the kitchen table after erasing the same problem for the fifth time, Dallas was snoring so loudly it even drowned out the TV. So why did I find myself drawn to him? There was no logical explanation, I figured it had to be love, I couldn't really know, I'd never really been in love with a boy before.

Soda had finally finished the dishes and came down to sit next to me, "good dinner Amber, better than anything me and Pony ever cook"

I smiled at him before turning back to my homework and scowling at it.

Soda patted me on the shoulder in a real brotherly way and cast a confused look at my textbook before shaking his head and walking away.

I could tell that it bothered him that he couldn't help me and Pony with our homework the way Darry could, it didn't do any good to tell him we didn't mind because he knew we didn't, but it still bugged him something awful.

Ponyboy came into the kitchen lugging his books under his arm, he dropped them on the table with a bang.

"Are you doing math?"

I nodded, "Trying to, but between not understanding and Dallas sounding like a locomotive, I'm not getting very far."

"Well, I already finished if you want to see mine" he offered

"She does not want to see yours Ponyboy, Amber do your homework by yourself." Darry said from the doorway.

"What does he have eyes in all areas of his head?" I asked in a low whisper

"I heard that Amber"

"…Ears too" Pony mumbled.

I laughed, turning it into a cough when I saw Darry advancing from the corner of my eye, "Well will you help me then" I asked with pleading eyes.

"Hey kid, I'll help you" Dallas rumbled from the doorway walking over and shutting my book, "this stuff is useless, I never learned it and look at me"

"Amber, don't look at him" Darry contradicted, "open your book and do your homework, Ponyboy, you too"

I drew my eyes away from Dallas and reopened my book, muttering numbers under my breath as Darry told Dallas to stop putting ideas in our heads.

Eventually Ponyboy and I finished enough of our homework that Darry agreed that we could go to the Nightly Double with Two-Bit and Dallas even though he was obviously still not over what happened one of the last times Pony went to the Nightly Double. But Soda was going on a double date to the movies with a new girlfriend of his and Steve and his girlfriend so he eventually agreed.

"Hurry up Amber!" Two-Bit yelled from the living room.

I was in my room having just showered and changed. I brushed my hair as I dried it, ignoring Two-Bit and working to calm my hair down with a hair band. I pulled it out of my hair and shook my head letting my curls go free as they pleased. Pressing down on my nose, I sighed, maybe one day it would stop turning up as much as it did.

Grabbing my jacket from the couch I slipped it on over my green sweater.

"Don't you think that skirt is a little short?" Darry asked.

I looked down, my white pleated skirt came just above my knee, "no", I replied.

Darry sighed, "be careful."

I kissed him on the cheek ignoring Ponyboys critical look towards my skirt and hurried out the door followed by Pony and then Dallas who shut the door with a casual, "I'll look after the kids" which didn't seem to suit Darry too well as he made a move to go get his jacket and follow us, but thought better of it.

It was a cold night to go to the movies, but the snow had thawed and cars were parked around the place to watch the movie that was just starting as the boys sneaked in over the back fence. I, not wanting to expose myself, paid the fee and met them near the concession stand where they were having an animated conversation with another couple of boys with slicked back hair and vacant expressions on their faces.

"Whose the chick?"

"This is my sister, Amber" Pony said moving to stand over me protectively

"Amber, this is Curly Sheperd, Tim's younger brother." Pony explained.

"My brother told me all about you, in bed with him on the first night knowing him from what I heard." Curly said crudely

I flushed, "there's Two-Bit" I said hurrying over to him as Dallas snickered loudly along with Curly.

We sat down about fifteen minutes into the movie, it wasn't exactly a plot line you had to follow from A to Z, as it was more girls on a beach, and I think Elvis might have been in it. I didn't really know because I was growing so numb I couldn't concentrate, and with Dallas hovering near by, bothering the girls unfortunate enough to sit near us, with the help from Curly and Two-Bit, I couldn't hear it either.

"Amber!"

I whirled around during the intermission between the two movies and saw Cherry making her way over.

"Hi Cherry" I said rubbing my hands together to try and warm them.

"Cherry! Hi!" Ponyboy yelled breaking away from a conversation he was in with two guys behind us.

"You mind if I sit with y'all?" She asked, leaning over to see Dallas and spilling popcorn in my lap in the process.

"Of course not!" Pony exclaimed engaging her immediately into a conversation that neither Cherry or myself were paying attention to.

"Well what have we here, ready for the soda yet?" Dallas asked catching Cherry's eye for the first time since she had sat down.

"I brought my own, thanks", she said coolly.

"Come on guys, please don't argue", Ponyboy begged.

I could see the pain in his eyes, and the remembrance of what happened last time and I felt guilty for wishing Cherry and Dallas bad feelings towards each other.

For whatever reason they conceded, if not out of mutual respect for Ponyboy, then because it was just too cold to concentrate on an argument.

The boys behind us ended up being really nice guys, friends of Ponyboy's for awhile and I stopped trying to pay attention to the movie and started talking to them instead.

"Come on Amber, I'm freezing, let's go"

"It's over?" I asked looking at Ponyboy

"You see the credits, dontcha kid?" Two-Bit asked.

I smiled at him and stood up, rubbing my arms, which had gone numb some time ago.

Fred, a grinning redhead slipped an arm around me much to Ponyboy's displeasure as he scowled darkly in Fred's direction.

Although he paled horribly in comparison to Dallas, who was, along with Cherry, no where to be found, I leaned against him, trying to absorb his warmth.

We started walking home through back allies, all of which the boys knew well.

"Oh shit, I think I dropped my glove, let me run back and find it", I said searching my pockets for my leather gloves, a Christmas present from my adopted mother, we were supposed to go Skiing this winter.

"Want me to come with you?" Fred asked.

I nodded, I didn't want to admit it, but I was scared alone in the dark.

We retraced our steps back to where we had been moments before, "there it is!" I said stooping down to retrieve it.

Standing up I nearly jumped out of my skin, two people were at the end of the ally.

Straining my eyes I gasped, I couldn't mistake that face, it was Dallas, and he was in the tightest embrace I've ever seen outside of a TV Soap Opera, with Cherry Valance.

Tears welled in my eyes and without explanation, I turned away from Fred and ran as fast as I could, blindly, with no idea of where I was going.

The cold air stung my lungs and I finally came to a stop, leaning against a cold wall, breathing heavily for a few minutes until I thought I was ok to walk again.

"It's not safe out here alone little girl."

It was Jake, smelling strongly of alcohol, with three of his friends, all drunk.

"Leave me alone", I said standing up straight and sniffing back tears.

"Now you don't think I'd just leave you here all by yourself, obviously upset, come here and let me…comfort you"

"No, thank you" I said trying to walk away

He grabbed my arm pulling me towards him.

Screaming I tried to run but was quickly stopped by his friends who closed in around me.

"Please let me go"

"Not when you're so upset, come here" Jake said, "I'll comfort you, then Lee will, then George and if you're still upset you'll have Brad"

"I'm not upset, let me go before I yell"

"Go ahead and yell, no one will hear you, we made sure of that when we knocked out the ugly red head greaser trash you were with, why were you with such trash Amber? You know you could do much better", Jake said as he ran his hand down my face to my chest.

I cringed, "He's more of a man than you could ever hope to be!"

"Oh, I'll show you what kind of a man I am", he snickered.

I started to yell, not knowing what else to do, praying Ponyboy and Two-Bit were close by, or even Dallas.

"Shut her up!" One of them yelled.

Passages from Pony's English essay came floating through my mind, Socs were professionals at shutting screaming people up.

I screamed in pain as Jake slapped me across the face, "It'll go faster if you just knock her out too", one of them said and when Jake nodded his consent I was punched hard across the face.

I fell to the ground, my vision blurred, I could hear voices but I couldn't distinguish who it was.

I was so cold

I heard footsteps but I couldn't tell whose.

And before I passed out, I saw Dallas hovering over me, Cherry standing behind him peering at me worriedly.

I woke up the next day with a scratchy throat, a hell of a lot of pain in my face where I'd been hit, stiff joints, and my three brothers hovering over me.

"Amber, are you ok?" Darry asked.

I nodded, the whole night came back to me in one hurried memory.

"What happened?"

I couldn't respond, I couldn't get past the part of Dallas and Cherry in my mind, there was no way I could explain why I ran away from Fred.

Fred

"Is Fred ok?" I asked.

"Yeah he's fine, are you ok?" Soda asked "It's ok baby, you can tell us what happened."

"I was attacked…" I mumbled

"They didn't…he didn't…" Pony stumbled over the question

I shook my head, "Going to, but didn't…"

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to stop them, no date is worth this…" Soda mumbled

"Not your fault Soda, he would have done it some other time"

"Who Amber, tell us who", Darry said sitting on the edge of my bed and stroking my hair.

I felt hate well up inside me as I closed my eyes and saw Dallas, holding Cherry, kissing Cherry, loving Cherry and not me.

And even though I knew it was wrong, even though I knew that it was Jake and his friends, even though I knew it could and would end friendships, I looked up into Darry's eyes and said in a hard even voice, "It was Dallas."


	17. SEVENTEEN

S

S.E.V.E.N.T.E.E.N.

I felt immediate shame come over me as I told this bold-face lie to my brothers but I couldn't think of a logical explanation to changing my answer.

"No, Amber, you must be mistaken, are you sure it was Dally?" Soda asked with wide eyes.

He was offering me a way out of my lie, and even though I knew I should take it, I shook my head, "I'm not mistaken Soda, it was him, he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall and said he was going to…going to…"

"Shhh, it's ok Amber, don't make her say anymore" Ponyboy begged.

"Amber, you're sure?" Darry asked.

Tears welled up in my eyes, "Why don't you believe me?"

"We do believe you, but it was a traumatic experience, we just want to make sure you're remembering correctly", Darry explained in a gentle voice.

I sniffed back my tears, "I am"

I don't know when I became such a convincing liar.

"Darry, Dally was the one we found standing over her, and he split the second Two-Bit and I showed up", Ponyboy said sitting next to me on the bed and holding my hand as I continued to sniff back tears.

"I think I better go talk to him then", Darry had a real mean glint in his eye as he stood up and stroked the top of my head, "we'll get to the bottom of this."

Soda and Pony wouldn't let me get out of bed the entire day, which suited me just fine, my body ached and my head was reeling with images of Dallas and Cherry, intermingled with flashes of guilt associated with my lie.

"I brought you lunch, Amber", Soda said placing a tray on my bed.

Scrambled eggs and chocolate cake, Soda wasn't much of a cook, but he tried and he did come up with some original combinations that I won't go into detail on.

I pushed the food around my plate, my stomach was a bundle of nerves.

Darry didn't come back until around five that night and when he did he had a black eye.

Soda and Pony had finally consented earlier to moving me into the living room so I could have the TV for company as Ponyboy finished up our homework for us and Soda worked on fixing the broken radio.

Now that Darry was home, I forgot all about the TV and watched as Soda ran over to the icebox and pulled out what I had planned to be that nights dinner, steak, and slapped it on Darry's eye.

"What happened?", I gasped "Are you ok?"

'Please let it have been a Soc' I prayed as Darry shook from trying to hold in his anger.

"I tried to have a rational talk with Dallas about last night." He finally managed to say.

"And he hit you?" Ponyboy asked in disbelief.

I couldn't believe it either, from what I could tell, no one ever hit Darry.

But then again, from what I read in Pony's English essay, no one stood up against Dallas either.

"Not before I hit him", Darry admitted, picking up my legs and sitting down on the couch.

I scrambled into sitting position, welcoming the pain as a more tangible reminder that it was my fault that my brother was going to have a black eye for the next few days.

Not to mention that I had obviously caused a huge rift to open up between Dallas and my family.

"Start from the beginning Darry", Soda requested, flopping onto the floor by Darry's feet.

Darry sighed, "I found him over at Buck's place, pulled him aside and asked him about last night."

I shrunk low into the couch as Darry continued, "He said he had nothing to do with Amber getting attacked, that he was with Cherry Valance the whole night."

I flushed brightly and covered my hands with my face, "I thought Cherry had gone home, she was gone before the movie was over." Ponyboy said.

"I told Dally that I wasn't accusing him but that you and Two-Bit saw him standing alone over Amber and we just wanted to know what he knew. He claimed that Cherry had run off to get help when they found Amber and then he started to get angry."

"So why did you hit him?", Soda asked.

"Because he said something I'm not going to repeat right now." Darry answered, casting a sidelong glance in my direction.

Tears started to fall down my face and I gathered up the blanket I was wrapped in and retreated to the solace of my room, falling face down on my bed and sobbing.

I wouldn't talk to anyone for the rest of the night, not even Two-Bit who came in to try and cheer me up after having a hushed conversation in the living room with my brothers.

I knew they were all talking about me, and my accusation, and Dallas, and what really happened.

Darry let me skip school the next day with the promise that Pony would hand in my homework for me and get all my new assignments. It was a boring day since I told Darry and Soda that I would be fine by myself and to go on to work. They thought I was still hurting, I wasn't really, only on the inside. I couldn't stand the thought of running into Jake, or one of his friends though.

Ponyboy brought Fred home from school with him, I flushed as he handed me a Daisy with a sheepish, "It's all I could afford."

I hugged him as Ponyboy pulled two chairs over to my bed where I had been reading a battered copy of 'God was an Englishman' that I found lying in a box in Ponyboy's room.

"I'm sorry about the other night, that I wasn't there to protect you", Fred said after I had asked him how he was feeling.

"It's not your fault, I'm the one who ran away."

"Why did you run?" He asked.

I looked down at my blanket and shrugged, "I thought I saw something, I got scared." I said lamely, searching for a pack of cigarettes to calm my nerves.

"Pony, lemme bum a smoke" I begged, unable to look at Fred.

He handed me one with a wry smile and a warning not to let Darry catch me.

Fred left a little while later, promising to see me at school the next day and I was left alone with Pony who got serious all of the sudden.

"Amber, I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to think I don't believe you, but this is important so please tell me the truth, you know you can trust me."

I nodded

"It's going around school that Jake…well that it was Jake in the alley the other night, he's been spreading the word around that he, well you know, and that you let him, which I know isn't true, but the part about Jake…was it him, and not Dally?"

I thought back to the day, not long ago when I looked into my twin's eyes for the first time and I knew he would know everything.

And he did, because it wasn't really a question he was asking me, more of a clarification.

I nodded, "It was Jake, and three of his friends" I mumbled.

"So why did you tell us it was Dally?" Ponyboy asked, "Because you have feelings for him and he doesn't have feelings for you?"

I nodded again, more embarrassed then I could possibly imagine.

"Please don't tell anyone Pony, I promise I'll come clean and tell, I really will." I begged.

"I'm definitely not going to be the one to tell Darry that he punched Dally for no reason, your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks", I said opening one of my text books to start that nights work.

"Ponyboy, get out."

I looked up startled at the rough voice at the doorway a few minutes later.

Dallas

He looked like he hadn't changed clothes since the night at the Nightly Double.

"Dally, whatever you have to say you can say in front of me." Ponyboy countered.

Dallas balled his hands into fists, "Go ahead Pony, before anyone else gets a black eye" I said casting a quick look up at Dallas's hard face and seeing the remains of his and Darry's fight.

Ponyboy left the room but I knew he was hovering near the door in case I needed him, and I was grateful, Dallas looked very angry.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I bit my lip, looking up at him nervously.

"Cherry, the little bitch, won't tell your brothers that she was with me on Saturday night, afraid of ruining her God Damn reputation, so that leaves you…I said look at me…that leaves you to get your lying ass out of bed and tell your brothers the truth."

"I don't know what you mean" I lied

"Yes you do, and you tell them, or I'll really give you a reason to be lying in that bed." He threatened.

"Dallas" Darry barked from the doorway, "Get out!"

"Tell him Amber, tell him the truth." Dallas growled

"I…"

"Tell him!"

"Tell me what, Dallas, if you take a step closer to her, you'll be sorry, tell me what Amber?"

I looked to Ponyboy desperately for help, "I…."

My head started to throb as tears clogged my throat, "TELL HIM" Dallas roared with such a force I cringed.

Darry made a move to attack Dallas again, I thought my head was going to explode.

"I LIED, DARRY, I LIED." I yelled

He stopped in mid-action, letting go of Dallas's collar.

"What?"

"I lied, it wasn't Dallas, it was Jake and some of his friends, Dallas scared them off, if it weren't for him I would probably have been raped and really hurt."

I don't know which was worse, the feeling of shame that now consumed me, or the look of disappointment that flooded into Darry's eyes.


	18. EIGHTEEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: Still don't own a thing!

A/N: This is a pretty slow chapter - give me feedback on what you think should happen cause I'm at a bit of a loss :) the faster the feedback, the sooner the next chapter! I hope you enjoy even though it's a super slow chapter!

E.I.G.H.T.E.E.N.

I'd like to tell you that things were better after that, but Darry just kept staring at me, with a look of disbelief on his face.

"I'm really sorry" I whispered, wishing desperately that I could retreat under the blankets until Darry stopped staring.

But that's not how things were done in this family, I couldn't hide from my mistakes, and I knew it.

"Why?"

I shrugged my shoulder, "I don't know…"

Darry's eyes pierced mine and I looked to Dallas but his cold glare was no better.

"I was jealous of Cherry," I said meekly

"Jealous? Why?" Darry asked, and then it dawned on him and his eyes flooded with understanding sweeping away the disappointment.

Like we've said, Darry is a smart guy.

I felt my eyes well up and I struggled to keep the tears back, "I'm really sorry Dallas"

"Yeah well, no real harm done" He said roughly jamming his hands in his pockets and adverting his gaze so that I couldn't really tell if he understood my reasoning.

Darry grasped his shoulder and led him out of the room, I could hear him apologizing in the hallway and Dallas's tough sounding acceptance.

The screen door slammed and the house was silent as I crawled out of bed and sat by the window.

"Amber?"

"Yeah Pony?" I asked, not needing to turn around, I knew he'd be there.

"Are you ok kid?"

"Pony, I'm so embarrassed, I don't know how I'll ever be able to face him again, and all the kids in school who think that, I…with Jake, I can't go back Pony, I can't".

"It'll be ok, I'll be with you in school and I'll skin anyone, who dares to say anything about you," He promised, slipping an arm over my shoulders.

I turned my watery gaze to him and tried to smile, "I'm sorry I'm such a crybaby".

He rubbed my shoulders and held me to him and didn't say anything as I sniffed back my tears and tried to collect myself enough to go out into the living room and face Darry and Soda.

There's nothing worse than embarrassing your family and I blushed crimson with disgrace all through dinner whenever their gazes would fall on me.

"Good dinner Darry," I mumbled picking the dishes up off the table hurriedly, dropping a knife on the floor because of my shaking arms.

Soda stood up and took the plates out of my arms before I dropped them, placing them on the counter.

We couldn't afford to lose anymore plates, they were all mismatched and chipped as it was.

I turned to the sink, scrubbing hard at the pan Darry cooked the chicken in with all my built up angst.

"You're bound to rub a hole right through it if you scrub any harder Amber," Soda said leaning under the table and retrieving the knife, placing it on the stack of plates.

I rinsed the pan and handed it to Pony to dry as Soda continued to clear the table, Darry had moved into the living room and was stretched out on the couch reading the paper.

I tried to relax, my brothers weren't looking at me in scorn, only concern and I felt bad for them because already I had a problem they couldn't fix.

I doubted they wanted to anyway, relief was practically written on their faces that Dallas hated me, better I make a fool out of myself and stay clear of anything beyond friendly relations with Dallas Winston. They didn't have to verbalize it, I could tell that's what they were thinking.

With a sigh I picked up the plates and placed them in the sink, scrubbing with a little less intensity but still feeling like there was a rock in my stomach whenever I thought about school.

"Pony, they're all staring"

"No they aren't, no more than usual," he assured me.

I pulled on my skirt trying to make it fall past my knees instead of right above them.

"Hi Pony, Hi Amber!" Fred called from down the hall.

I hugged my books to my chest tightly and smiled at him as he approached and joined us on our walk to homeroom.

Further down the hallway we found Two-Bit who merely raised an eyebrow at me and then patted my shoulder awkwardly.

So they all knew, I squared my jaw and tried to block out the thought of my brothers and the gang sitting around and talking about my crush on Dallas.

With my small army behind me I marched down the hall and past the peering eyes and into homeroom where we said goodbye to Two-Bit and took our seats in the back of the room.

I couldn't get out of the school fast enough when lunch finally came around.

Stories traveled fast in a public school like ours, nasty rumors spread even faster and there wasn't a single person in the school, I was sure, who hadn't heard Jake's bragging.

Other members of the football team, boys I would have to cheer for that weekend at the game, threw their arms around me in the hallway making crude comments and extending disgusting invitations.

Boys I wouldn't go near if you paid me asked me out, threw notes on my desk during class making lurid remarks.

I felt sick.

When Ponyboy finally found me outside the building pressed up against the wall, I groaned.

His lip was cut, his clothes more disheveled than usual.

He shrugged off my care, "I'm fine Amber," He said tightly.

"Darry is gonna kill you for fighting Pony, let me clean you up just a little, then we'll go to the DX, maybe Soda will hide us the rest of the day."

I nearly fell into Soda's arms when we got to the DX, I needed comfort and Pony was too angry to say or do much.

I felt awful that he was put into the position of having to defend me and my honor, Darry really was gonna kill him.

"What's wrong doll?" Soda asked soothingly

I mumbled incoherently into his chest and he looked to Pony for explanation.

"Glory Ponyboy, what happened to you?" He asked reaching forward and pulling Pony's hand away from his lip where he'd been holding the wet paper towel I'd given him before we left school.

"Jake spread some rumors about Amber around school the…," Pony explained adding a few adjectives that I won't repeat here.

Soda's face screwed up in anger, but only for a minute before he hugged me close and told Steve to go into the store and get us some Pepsis and sandwiches.

While we waited Soda peeled me off of him and handed me a cloth smudged with grease to wipe my nose.

I wrinkled my dripping nose and shook my head in disgust jerking my head away from the cloth.

Finally catching me he held it up, "blow"

I did as I was told much to Ponyboy's amusement and watched as Soda re-pocketed the cloth.

Handkerchiefs always fascinated me, I just couldn't understand carrying around your mucus all day.

Steve came back out dropping a few plastic wrapped sandwiches onto Soda's lap and placing the cool bottles of Pepsi onto the hood of a nearby car.

"There you go guys, dig in," Soda said shifting me off his lap and onto the bench next to him.

Pony ate hungrily but I couldn't get the rock of humiliation that had settled at the bottom of my stomach to leave.

I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, bar the whole Dallas situation, but I still felt like I had.

Ponyboy and I went back to school grudgingly awhile later followed by Steve and Two-Bit whose cheerful comments didn't have their usual spirit lifting effect.

I lurked through the hallways and sunk low in my seat avoiding eye contact whenever possible.

I could only pray that things would get better.

They always did, I told myself. Something would happen and everyone would be talking about that instead, it was bound to happen.

Still, I left cheer practice eagerly that day not bothering to change out of my cheer skirt and sweater, walking as quickly as possible to the place under a tall oak tree where I always met Ponyboy when he got out of track practice.

I stopped short at the sight of a large group of people in a circle, a sure sign that a fight was in progress.

I bowed my head low and tried to rush past but a girl who sat next to me in English and was on the school newspaper stopped me, "Did you see it Amber?"

"See what?" I asked standing on my tip-toes and tried to see what was going on.

"Jake just got beaten up by a hood with the most gorgeous eyes you'd ever see. He forced Jake to admit that nothing happened between the two of you, your name is cleared," she said excitedly.

I smiled weakly at her, the most gorgeous eyes she'd ever seen? A hood? It couldn't be I decided with a shake of my head pushing my way through the crowd and up to Jake.

He was lying on the ground, blood ran down his face and his nose was obviously broken.

Whoever had done it had done a very thorough job.

When Jake saw me he tried to stand up, I pushed him back down with my foot, "You disgust me."

I walked away from him and the meek insults he was hurling in my direction and over to Ponyboy ignoring the remarks, both good and bad being called from the onlookers.

I had to know whom it was who had done it.

Ponyboy had seen the whole thing and gave me a step by step account of the fight.

"But who was it Pony?" I asked impatiently, I could tell he was holding back.

His smile was enough to confirm my suspicions and I fairly beamed with pleasure, it was Dallas.


	19. NINETEEN

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing

N.I.N.E.T.E.E.N.

When we finally made it to the lot by our house, everyone was outside having a smoke and bumming around, everyone including Dallas.

He wouldn't look me in the eye but I didn't care.

I marched up to him standing on my toes to loop my arms around his neck and hugged him tight nearly losing my breath when I felt his arm slowly loop around my back and tighten to return the hug.

The guys looked on, slightly agape as I released Dallas with a simple, "thanks."

I settled down onto the pavement sitting on my Spanish book and adjusting my skirt to make sure I wasn't showing anything to the boys that I shouldn't and turned my attention to Johnny.

"Hey Johnny, what's doin with coming back to school?" I asked

He brightened visibly, "Next Monday, I start classes again, I can't believe it."

"That's great, are you going to come to the game this weekend and watch me cheer and Pony run around the track during halftime? It can be your first official activity back at school"

His dark eyes loomed above me from his chair, glowing bright as he nodded, "we'll all be going," Two-Bit said cheerily.

"Except me kiddo, I'm sorry," Darry said with a sigh.

I smiled up at Darry, "It's ok, though I do wish you'd take a day off now and then, you work yourself to the bone."

He shrugged his shoulders taking the cigarette out of Ponyboy's mouth and flattening it under his heel, "What did I tell you about more than a pack a day?"

"Aw Darry, come on, they're my lungs," Ponyboy groused looking down at his flattened smoke.

Cigarettes are hard to come by what with us having no money save what it takes to keep the house running, most of ours come from Two-Bit and we all know he doesn't get them by legal means.

"Listen, Soda, do you reckon you could help me with my back handspring? I want it to be real good for the game, Cherry put me up front for some of the routines." I said.

Soda may not be able to help us with our homework, but he was a whiz with acrobats, I swear he'd rather front flip his way to work than drive there.

"I'm sorry kid, I'm pulling a double at the DX, I'm here on break before Steve and I need to head over," He said apologetically.

"That's ok…how about you Two-Bit?"

"Shoot kid, I have to get going, my mother hasn't seen me in three days, I ran into my kid sister at school today and she told me my mom is threatening to report me missing and presumed dead." He replied

I sighed, "Ok, I guess it's good enough anyhow."

"I'll help you, kid." Dallas said suddenly

"You can do a back handspring?" I asked incredulously

He gave me a scathing look before stomping out his cigarette and taking off his leather jacket, tossing it to Johnny.

Cracking his neck on both sides he smiled his dark mysterious smile and did a series of backhand springs across the field ending in a back flip.

Sauntering back over to us, I think we all had our mouths slightly agape.

"Ok, you can help me," I said standing up.

"I'll see you guys later…" Soda said standing up with Steve, both of whom seemed surprised by the change in mine and Dallas' relationship.

I was surprised too to tell the truth.

Two-Bit left also and Darry wandered inside to start dinner leaving Johnny and Ponyboy talking quietly amongst themselves and me and Dallas on the grass.

"Ok kid, let me see what you got." Dallas said gruffly, taking out another cigarette and lighting it.

I did a backhand spring, then another and another, all on his command.

I could do them, but they didn't flow together the way they should when you were doing six or seven in a row during a routine.

"Ok, I see your problem" He said dropping his smoke to the ground and rubbing it out.

"The arch of your back is all wrong, you're too rigid, you've fallen and cracked your head before haven't you?"

I thought back to that day in seventh grade when there had been water on the ground, I had lost my footing and slammed my head into the gym floor. I had to be taken to the hospital and received twenty stitches to the back of my head, it had taken hours to stop the blood flow.

I nodded

"Forget about it," He said simply

I nodded again and tried to clear my mind, "Ready?" He asked

I nodded once more and did the move, "Better, still too tensed up though."

"Do it slowly," He said

I leaned backwards towards the ground and felt his hands circle my torso, "loosen up, Amber."

He called me Amber

His hands were warm on my back and my knees weakened and gave out, "sorry" I said lamely from my spot on the ground where I sat looking up at him.

A real genuine smile flickered across his face.

Hauling myself off the ground Dallas and I worked on the move until I had it perfect and Darry was calling out to us for Dinner.

"Thanks for all your help, Dallas"

"No problem Kid" He said sauntering away from me and into the house.

I stopped by Johnny and Ponyboy and sighed, from the corner of my eye I could see them exchange a worried and knowing glance, but I didn't care, he had called me Amber.


	20. TWENTY

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing

T.W.E.N.T.Y

I was real nervous when Friday night came around, Cherry had kept us for hours after school perfecting our routines, finally sending us home at 6 for dinner and demanding our return exactly at 7:30.

"Eat up Amber, you're going to need your energy for tonight." Soda said pushing a bowl full of mashed potatoes in my direction.

My stomach churned and I shook my head pushing around the cut up pieces of chicken on my plate.

"Shoot, I'll eat them if the kid won't," Two-Bit said reaching across the table nearly knocking over my glass of milk.

"Don't be nervous Amber, I've seen you do the routines tons of times, you've got them down," Pony said reassuringly.

I wasn't nervous about the routines though, or even the crowd, I was used to all of that from cheering in Arizona.

I was nervous about who was in the crowd, and on the field behind me.

I didn't want to mess up in front of Dallas, if he really did show up, and I didn't want to have my back turned with Jake standing behind me, I didn't trust him.

"Yeah and we'll all be there kid, cheering you on." Two-Bit said, mashed potatoes nearly falling out of his mouth.

I couldn't help but laugh and stabbed a piece of chicken with my fork.

"Good girl," Soda with a grin as I chewed and swallowed, finishing with a bright smile.

Two hours later the same smile spread across my flushed face as I finished a series of back handsprings and came to a stop as the crowd started cheering loudly.

Cherry and I exchanged smiles as the rest of our squad enthusiastically jumped up and down doing kicks and yelling words of encouragement as our team headed for the end zone.

I could see Jake, tall and built setting up for a throw and I wished things could have been different.

The problem between the two of us was well known by the entire student population and the scornful looks I received after Dallas beat the living hell out of Jake were enough to kill.

But already I was learning that life wasn't all about popularity, some things were more important.

Scanning the crowd that consisted mostly of Socs I saw Cherry's parents, decked out in our school colors holding a camera.

Looking to the bottom of the bleachers I could see the greasers, hanging out and smoking, drinking out of containers concealed by wrinkled brown paper bags.

Two-Bit and a few others were under the stands trying to see up girls' skirts and I couldn't help but shake my head in amusement.

True to their word the entire gang had shown up, even Darry skived off work early and was standing with Steve, Soda, Johnny and Dallas.

Johnny's eyes hadn't left me the whole game, I could feel his gaze and I burned crimson under it.

Dallas on the other hand looked everywhere but at me, except just now after those back handsprings.

He caught my eye and I could see a flicker of pride in his.

Ponyboy was in the locker room getting ready for his halftime race, it would be right after our big routine that would take place in the middle of the field as opposed to the sideline.

Fred was there and I smiled and waved at him before Cherry clapped her hands to get our attention and led us in another cheer.

Fred had asked me out a couple of times, risking the wrath of my brothers.

We'd gone for a couple of cokes but I wouldn't let him kiss me, not when I had Dallas on my mind all the time.

He took it as playing hard to get.

I took it as playing fair.

Halftime came and we performed our routine nearly flawless. I couldn't stop smiling, I love cheering that much.

I really do love being the center of attention too, when it's doing something I'm good at.

I waved to Ponyboy as he came out onto the track and my squad and I ran off and back onto the sidelines.

I stood with Darry and Soda and we watched in pride as Pony ran his race against his teammates, he really was a good runner.

I couldn't help but think what kind of athlete he'd be without all the cigarettes.

Maybe I would take up with Darry in trying to make him quit.

We lost the game by a field goal, but none of us cared.

We rode home laughing and before long our house was filled with the gang, celebrating my return to cheerleading, Pony's second place win and life in general, life was good and none of us had much to complain about.

As the noise level reached an all time high and our stereo threatened to blow out Johnny beckoned me over to him.

"Could we talk, Amber?" He asked quietly.

I could barely hear him.

We went outside onto the porch, nobody even missed us amongst the crowd of boys and noise and smoke inside.

"What's up Johnny?" I asked sitting on the old porch swing next to him rocking back and forth slowly, accepting the cigarette he offered.

"You were really great out there tonight," he said taking a long drag, "really beautiful."

He said it really soft and timid-like and I couldn't help but notice how good-looking he was in the moonlight.

I blushed, "thanks Johnny"

"Listen, Amber can I ask you a favor, that you need to keep from Pony even?"

"Gosh, it must be serious," I said, my green eyes meeting his deep brown ones.

He took another drag and slowly released the smoke as if trying to come up with the right words for what he was going to ask.

I sat in silence, rocking back and forth, not wanting to rush him.

Flicking the ashes of my cigarette I watched them float away in the breeze until Johnny started to talk again.

"When I first ended up in this chair I was happy just to be alive, it wasn't until that hospital room that I realized how much I hadn't seen, how much I hadn't done, I was grateful just to be alive, it was a real different feeling than the one I'd had just a few days before."

I was caught off guard by this confession, I didn't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that.

A soft "oh" escaped from my lips, but I don't think he heard me.

Now that he had found his words he was charging on letting them flow freely.

"There's so much to live for Amber, I would have died for those kids because they have more to live for than me, but given the second chance, well I want to make the best of it."

I nodded, but he continued like he hadn't seen me.

"That's why I'm going back to school, who knows maybe one day I'll get into college and get a real job and be successful and maybe…maybe one day I'll even have a family, a real family who I can love."

He cast me a shy glance before continuing, "And I want to go places, see the world outside of Oklahoma, away from greasers and socs. Ponyboy used to rattle on about the country, about places where people were just people. I want to find that Amber, I want to find a place where we all fit in because we are who we are and that's enough."

"You want me to drive you somewhere Johnny, I don't have my license yet but in a few years…"

He smiled and shook his head, "No, Amber I want you to help me with something bigger than that."

I looked at him curiously.

"I want you to help me learn to walk again."


	21. TWENTY ONE

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything (Besides Amber)

T.W.E.N.T.Y. O.N.E.

My mouth fell open, but I closed it in a hurry so he wouldn't take my surprise the wrong way.

"I don't understand Johnny, is it even possible?" I asked carefully.

I had read the rest of Ponyboy's composition and still shuddered whenever I thought back to the part at the hospital.

The doctors didn't even think Johnny would live much less be able to lead a normal life.

And they clearly told my brothers that if he did live he would never be able to get out of a wheelchair.

"I know what you're thinking Amber but I've been back to the doctor and he said I've healed better than they could have ever imagined, and he said if I could find the money for therapy and I had the determination I could walk again. Well I don't have the money, that's where you come in, but I have the determination Amber, I do."

"I know you do Johnny, it's just that…"

"Amber, I'm going to do this with or without your help," He said and I could make out the determined gleam in his eyes even in the dark. "But I'm asking for you help, so will you help me?"

I nodded, "Of course I will…by why can't we tell Pony?"

He fell back into silence for a minute before replying, "I know he feels real guilty about me being in this chair in the first place. He probably thinks if he hadn't gotten in that fight with Darry and run off in the first place that none of this would have happened. And I know he feels rotten about me being in this chair and him being just fine and I don't want to get his hopes up in case…well in case it doesn't work out."

I nodded in understanding.

It was the most I'd ever heard Johnny say in one week, let alone one day.

"Ok, well we'll do it, it'll be a bit tough finding time though with school and my cheer practices and Darry always wanting to know where I am," I said trying to figure out a time that I could sneak away.

"Can't we just say you're tutoring me?" He asked, "Everyday after your cheer practices even if it's only for an hour."

I looked at him in surprise, he had really thought this all through.

I never took Johnny as someone who could be so devious and clever.

I nodded in agreement, still slightly awed at what had just passed.

"Ok we'll start Monday then, after school…and Amber, thanks," He said sinking back into his quietness.

We sat in silence while I rocked, I guess we both had a lot to think about.

Not a minute passed however before Steve poked his head out the door and started making kissing noises at us.

I blushed wildly, "What are you two kids doing out here huh?" Steve asked stepping out onto the porch followed by an exceedingly drunk Two-Bit.

"Just talking," I said watching Two-Bit wander towards the stairs and fall down them not realizing how close to the edge he really was.

I wished Darry would let me get drunk once in awhile, especially now so I wouldn't notice Steve's piercing look and Johnny's gaze.

"Two-Bit, you ok?" I called

"Who moved the TV I can't see it from down here," He mumbled in response.

I stifled a giggle and pulled him out of the front shrubbery, "This couch isn't as comfortable as I remember, did ya'll get a new one?" He asked through slurred speech.

I tried to steady him but he was so trashed he kept losing his balance and nearly flattened me against the railing of the porch.

"Help me out a little Steve," I said steering Two-Bit towards the steps, colliding into him when he stopped suddenly to examine a ladybug making it's lazy path across the top step.

"You should have just left him where he was, the drunk son of a.."

"Steve! I'm not going to just let him sleep in a bush!" I said waiting as patiently as possible for the ladybug to cross.

"Why not, he loves bushes, believe me." Steve mumbled grabbing Two-Bit by the arm and hauling him up the stairs and into the house.

I stared at his retreating figure blankly, holding the door open for Johnny and following them into the house.

Things had calmed down considerably what with Two-Bit passed out where Steve had thrown him alongside the couch.

Darry had already retreated to bed planning on going into work the next day to make up for his missed hours and to get some extra ones too.

It's beyond me how someone roofs so much, especially past sunset, I guess it's not all roofing though, getting customers probably took some time too. Still, I didn't think Darry needed to work as hard as he did.

Dallas, Soda and Steve were involved in another game of poker, Dallas looked pretty trashed and was getting mad easily.

Pony was sitting near Johnny, neither of them were speaking, just smoking cigarette after cigarette as the butts accumulated around them.

I sat down next to them but their silence made me uneasy, it just wasn't natural to me for three people to sit near each other and not talk.

The poker game broke up pretty soon between Steve and Soda's tendency to cheat and Dallas' bad temper.

"Come on Johnnycake, I'll walk you home." Steve said with a yawn.

"Shoot, I'll drive you even if you are a cheater," Dallas said standing up.

"Hell no, drive yourself if you want but I'm not getting in a car with you when you can barely stand," Steve said handing Johnny his jacket and making for the door.

"I'm fine," Dallas snapped, but he stumbled as he reached for his coat nearly falling on top of Two-Bit.

Had it happened I would have given anything for a camera.

Steve gave him a knowing look and ushered Johnny out the door calling out goodnight to anyone still awake.

Dallas managed to get his jacket on and began to fumble for his keys, I gave Ponyboy a startled look.

He wasn't really going to let Dallas drive in this condition was he?

"Soda, stop him!" I said as Dallas opened the door and slammed it shut.

We had drinking and driving assemblies all the time at school in Arizona where some parent got up and talked about their dead kid who slammed into a telephone pole after some party.

"He'll be fine Amber, it's only a few blocks."

I gave him a scathing look and ran outside after Dallas who was having a hell of a time trying to get his key into the lock.

"Dallas, stay here tonight, the couch is free what with Two-Bit passed out on the floor and all," I offered with a small grin.

"I'm fine," He repeated.

I started to shiver, I hadn't realized before how cold it really was outside.

Rubbing my arms to try and generate some warmth I looked at him pleadingly, "please, just stay here, I don't want to see you dead in a ditch somewhere."

He looked at me and my heart skipped a beat.

"Dumb kids, never wear your jackets," He grumbled taking his off and throwing it around my shoulders before stalking back into the house.

I could feel my cheeks turning pink and I knew it wasn't because of the cold.

Soda and Pony had gone to bed, I could hear their low voices in their room down the hall.

Dallas threw himself down on the couch, Two-Bit was snoring loudly along side.

I didn't feel too badly about that, Dallas snored too, and twice as loudly.

I brought him the navy blanket that was throw across the reclining armchair and laid it across his tall form.

"Amber?" he mumbled.

I sat down next to him on the very edge of the couch, "Yeah?"

"Is there something going on with you and the kid?"

I assumed he meant Johnny and I shook my head, "no"

"Good," He mumbled, closing his eyes in order to prevent further conversation.

Or maybe he was just ready to pass out.

Unable to control myself any longer I reached out and brushed the hair away from his eyes gently and before standing up and retreating to my room I could have sworn I saw a smile flicker across his face.


	22. TWENTY TWO

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: In the interest of covering my tush here and I have to let everyone know that I am not a physical therapist, nor do I know how to teach someone how to teach someone to walk again - so that part is a bit fudged and I really didn't go into detail, but I DO know that it couldn't be done in a single chapter so bear with me please.

T.W.E.N.T.Y. T.W.O.

I woke up late the next day well after the sun had first poked its rays into my room.

Rolling over I kept my eyes closed tight against the sun's persistent beams and replayed my dream from last night over and over each time seeing Dallas' smile from the night before as he leaned in slowly...

But that was only a dream.

With a sigh I opened my eyes and looked at my radio alarm.

It was already half past eleven and it took me a minute to realize that Darry was at work and Soda and Pony didn't care how long I slept.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stood up shuffling over to the closet and pulling out a skirt and blouse.

Dressing quickly I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail cursing the wispy pieces that just wouldn't stay put.

Giving up on my hair I pushed down on my nose and looked at myself critically in the mirror.

It wasn't a horrible sight that was reflected back to me, but I doubted it was one that would ever fully capture the attention of a boy like Dallas.

Leaving my room I closed the door and headed into the bathroom brushing my teeth and splashing some water on my face. Reaching into the medicine cabinet I fumbled through the various shaving creams and after-shave, hair grease, half-used razors, partially empty toothpaste tubes and hair ties to find my lipgloss.

And guys say girls have a crowded medicine cabinet, I was lucky I could open the door without an avalanche of my brothers' beauty aids toppling down on top of me.

Not to say I didn't add to the mess.

Making my way into the kitchen I was glad to see that Two-Bit had managed to pull himself up off the floor and was now passed out on the couch.

Dallas was gone and I regretted having left his jacket on the couch by his feet the night before.

From the kitchen I could hear my brothers yelling from the grassy field by the lot.

Peering out the kitchen window as I drank my orange juice I smiled and quickly finished so I could join them.

"Hey sleepy-head," Soda greeted as I drew closer to them.

Steve was there too and he grunted a greeting.

Pony rolled his eyes behind Steve's back and I stifled a giggle as Steve gave us his I'm better than you look.

We knew he was Soda's best friend, but if Soda could turn a blind eye to Steve's not liking us we could sure as shootin' get away with not liking him back.

Though I did sort of like him, because he was Soda's best buddy and I knew he had to see something in him.

I just didn't know what.

The day passed quickly, for all of us except Two-Bit that is.

When we came back into the house an hour later Steve slammed the door in his typical manner causing Two-Bit to yelp in displeasure.

"Hang-over Two-Bit?" I asked dropping down onto the couch next to him.

"Shoot kid, I feel like my head is being pressed in between two anvils," he moaned.

Pony walked got him a few Tylenol and handed him a glass of water, "There you go"

"Thanks Pony, but you don't have to scream in my ear."

Pony looked at me and raised an eyebrow in a dead-on imitation of Two-Bit, making me laugh mercilessly and Two-Bit cringe.

"By the way kid, thanks for pulling me out of the garden last night," He mumbled quickly once my laughter faded.

I nodded, "Anytime, just no time soon."

He nodded back but looked a little confused.

"So you and the kid were looking pretty cozy last night," He said changing the subject.

"What kid?" Pony asked looking at me.

I blushed, "He means Johnny, and we weren't cozy, we were just talkin'."

"Yeah, you're turning pretty red for someone who was just 'talkin'," Two-Bit said nudging me in my side with his elbow.

"Hush up or I'll scream and really make your head hurt," I threatened.

He held his hands up in mock surrender but I could tell everyone in the room was curious as to my conversation with Johnny.

I wanted to put their suspicions of a budding romance between the two of us to rest but I couldn't tell them the truth.

"He was just asking me for help after school to help him get caught up that's all, he wants to do really well this time around, do you think that would be a problem Soda? Me helping him after school?"

Soda shrugged, "You'll have to ask Darry but I'm sure he won't mind so long as you get all of your work done too."

I nodded and stood up, "I'll go make lunch," I said hoping to avoid any further questions.

It worked and after I quickly made up a plate of sandwiches the boys were happily eating and forgot about me and any suspicions of a romance with Johnny.

On Monday morning the screen door slammed a bit later than usual and more voices were heard in the living room than on a normal school day.

Steve and Two-Bit had picked up Johnny on their way to our house, Two-Bits car being back in the shop after he clipped someone's mailbox and busted off one of his side mirrors.

He said he did it on purpose but we all knew he was checking out the blonde driving in the car behind him and veered off the road in his awe.

Pony and I knew this for sure because we were driving around with him procrastinating on the last of our homework and we saw it happen.

I still couldn't stop laughing when I thought back to Two-Bit running his hand through his hair as cool as possible, like he'd meant to do it, as the girl went whizzing by laughing at him with her friends.

Pony had just looked at him shaking his head back and forth and said with a smirk, "Smooth like sandpaper"

Darry was mighty angry when he saw the bruise Two-Bit had left on Pony's arm after that comment.

I was just finishing up a batch of pancakes as they arrived and poured into the kitchen and I set them down in the middle of the table and watched them disappear like magic in a blink of the eye.

Darry, who was already dressed for the day took the spatula from me and told me to sit down and eat what I could get my hands on while he made more.

Soda was still running around trying to get dressed but managed to grab a pancake, cover it with syrup and fold it over eating it in one big bite.

I watched in awe and he gave me a messy smile before running out of the room again as Darry called for him to hurry.

Amazingly we all managed to get out of the house on time and we even made it to school with ten extra minutes thanks to Steve's blatant disregard for the speed limit.

Pony and I walked Johnny to the office and waited while he had his schedule typed up.

I thought back to my first day, only a few weeks ago and marveled at how different things were now.

Comparing schedules I was disappointed to find that combined, Johnny only had three classes with Pony and me.

I was nervous about him being alone and in that chair, kids were mean, and they hadn't forgotten about Bob.

I hoped they didn't mess with him and I could tell Ponyboy was a little apprehensive too.

"I'll be fine," He said as if understanding our concerns, and we nodded dropping him off in his homeroom.

The day passed slowly as I sat in class wondering how Johnny was doing on his first day back, I didn't want him to get discouraged.

But he arrived at lunch with a smile on his face and in an uncharacteristic manner talked nearly the whole way to the neighborhood grocery store that we usually frequented when we weren't dying to see Soda and willing to walk the extra distance.

He was real positive about all of his classes but made sure to state clearly that he was sure he was going to need my help to keep up.

I smiled a knowing smile at him and said I would be happy to help since Darry had given me the OK.

Pony and Two-Bit gave us a suspicious look but didn't say anything.

After school I waved good bye to Johnny and the rest of the gang and promised I would see him right after cheer practice.

I really had no idea what I was going to do with Johnny, I sure wasn't any doctor and I hadn't the first idea as to how you got someone to walk again.

I was still thinking about it when I knocked on his rickety screen door and heard him yell to come in.

"Hi Amber," he greeted.

"Hey Johnnycake, how's it going?" I asked.

"Ok, I'm trying to work on some of these math problems, they're tougher than I thought they'd be."

I nodded, "Well we can always work on that too, I'm not real good at math but I can pass," I offered.

"Thanks, but first lets work on my legs," He said reaching down and grabbing hold of his left leg, lifting it and placing it on the ground.

It hung there limply and I bit my lip to keep from asking again whether this was a good idea or not.

I only knew what I'd seen on TV shows about people learning how to walk again and they always had the person holding onto two sturdy rails and working their way across so I figured we could start there.

"Mind if I move some furniture?" I asked.

He nodded, "so long as its all back in place by the time my mom comes home."

I hoped that wasn't for awhile, I had only read about Johnny's mom but she scared me.

Dragging one of the beat-up brown sofas to face the other one so they were back to back with about two feet in between, I watched Johnny pull his other leg off the chair.

"Do you feel anything in them at all?" I asked.

He nodded, his eyes bright, "The doc used a pin starting at my feet, I could feel every prick."

"Well that's a good start I guess," I said with a smile heaving myself against the couch to try and get them lined up.

Flopping down across the top of it I took a deep breath, tired from the activity and eyed Johnny evenly before talking again.

He gave me a questioning look and I smiled again, "Listen Johnny, I have one condition to my helping you."

"Sure Amber, anything"

"I want you to help me look more like a greaser, you know, so I fit in with my brothers and the rest of the gang better."

He goggled at me a minute, "Why would you want to do that, you look just fine."

"Because I don't want people wondering which side I belong to anymore, I'm one of y'all, I'm even picking up the slang," I said with a lopsided grin, "That's the condition, take it or leave it."

"But Amber, greaser girls, they don't dress nice at all, you don't want to look like one of them," he argued.

I sighed, "I'm not talking about short skirts and tight tops and tons of makeup, just not…this," I said motioning to my Madras attire and leather shoes. "Please Johnny, I just want to fit in."

He looked at me for a minute and then nodded in agreement, "Ok, we have a deal. You help me learn to walk and I'll help you look like a greaser, even if your brothers do want to kill me for it afterwards."

I reached over the couch and shook his hand, "let set started."

Johnny and I worked together for the next five days until he could stand firmly between the two sofas without swaying or his knees giving out and he could drag his legs the length of the couches.

I thought that was pretty good progress and as I struggled to drag the couches back into their right positions I told him that the next time we would work on his picking up his legs but in the mean time to practice standing by himself and to come over on Saturday for some real homework tutoring if he could.

He nodded and followed me to the door taking hold of one of my hands, "Thanks Amber, really, thank you so much."

I looked at him deep in his dark brown eyes and smiled, "You're welcome, we'll have you walking in no time, and remember, next week you teach me how to be a greaser."

He was still smiling as he shut the door and I fairly skipped down the sidewalk despite my aching back.

"Amber, can I talk to you?" Pony asked that night as I finished up my economics homework.

I nodded, putting down my pencil and joining him on the bed he shared with Soda.

We often had talks after we did our homework and before he and Soda went to bed and I retreated into the privacy of my own room.

I haven't talked about them because up until then they'd all been get to know you types of talks that neither of us wanted repeated, but this one stayed in my mind repeating over and over during the next few days.

I sat Indian style and looked at him without talking, he looked like he had something he wanted to say.

"So, um you and Johnny have been getting pretty close lately," he started.

I nodded, pulling my hair into a ponytail, "Yeah, he's a nice guy."

"Nice enough for you to date?" he asked.

I stared at him for a minute speechless.

"It's just that, I know he likes you and I think you two would be good for each other," he continued.

"Ponyboy," I said quietly "you know I like Dallas."

It wasn't something we talked about but I knew he was aware of my feelings for Dallas and I didn't see any reason to beat around the bush.

"I know, but Amber be realistic," he begged.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked sharply.

"Well you know…he's eighteen and you're fifteen…" he said lamely.

"Big deal, that's three years, now tell me your real reason," I said my eyes flashing.

He took a deep breath, "I don't mean to upset you Amber, I'm only saying this because I care about you"

"Well then, just say it," I demanded. "You don't think I'm pretty enough?"

"You know that's not it," he said his voice getting more strained, "It's just that…well you read what I wrote about him, he doesn't know how to love Amber, he could never love you back, Johnny could if you'd only give him the chance."

"Well, nothing against Johnny, Ponyboy but I think we both know that you can't decide who you love," I said and I knew it hit home, he would never admit it to anyone but he loved Cherry Valance.

"Maybe not, but at least I'm realistic," he said softly looking down at the sheets.

"I'm sorry Pony, I didn't mean to make you feel bad," I said just as softly.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he said. "All Dally knows is how to hate, he hates the whole world, he isn't like us, like Soda and Darry and even Two-Bit and Steve. He only cares about himself, his own preservation."

"He saved your life Ponyboy and he was glad he didn't kill you in the process, what about that? What about him not wanting Johnny to get hard in jail? He does care, he just doesn't show it the same way that you or I would. What's love if you don't test it and work for it? You can't change my mind Ponyboy." I said passionately.

He sighed deeply, "Then I won't mention it again, just be careful Amber, please promise me you'll be careful."

"I will," I said as Soda opened the door and walked over to join us on the bed.

"You about ready to hit the hay Pony?" he asked with a yawn stretching himself out across the bed and resting his head on my lap.

I smoothed back his hair and returned his sleepy smile before exchanging my lap with a pillow leaning down and kissing him on the cheek.

"Goodnight Soda, night Pony," I said hugging my twin tightly and walking towards the door.

I could feel Ponyboy's gaze on my back watching me leave and I felt a weight settle in on my chest, he couldn't be right about Dallas, it just wasn't possible I thought closing the door behind me and retreating into my room, it just wasn't possible.


	23. TWENTY THREE

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creativity

T.W.E.N.T.Y. T.H.R.E.E.

Boy was I in trouble.

The two weeks that followed my talk with Ponyboy had flown by in a jumble of school, cheering and helping Johnny while trying to figure out who I was and who I was becoming.

I was lucky if I made it home in time for dinner these days and that bugged my brothers something awful, dinner was our together time and they didn't like me missing it.

But my sessions with Johnny were steadily improving and I was convinced that we would be successful, and I wasn't willing to give up now.

Instead I urged Johnny to work harder and longer until I barely had time to drag the furniture back into position and run out of the house before his mother came home and my own dinner was set on the table.

True to his word Johnny had helped me change my appearance, something else that didn't seem to sit well with my brothers for reasons unknown to me.

I changed myself to be like them, but on the first day when I skidded into the kitchen breathless, yet twenty minutes late anyway, wearing the attire of a well-dressed Greaser as opposed to an even better dressed Soc, they just stared at me without comment.

Johnny had said to prevent shock I should start slowly, just like him and his walking, so I traded in my knee-length skirts and heeled shoes for a pair of cropped pants and a pair of tennis shoes I had used until then for exercise only. I had kept my blouses but tied the two shirttails together exposing some of my bare midriff to the warming temperatures that came with March. Holding off on makeup and leaving my hair natural I didn't think I looked half-bad for looking so different.

My brothers thought differently but kept their mouths shut.

I didn't want to admit it to anyone but I was desperate to fit in, now that I knew how much I really didn't

Dallas had been right that first night, I didn't belong, not in my Madras and with my private school background.

I knew I had to change if I wanted to be seen on the same level as my brothers, really and truly become one of them and become a Curtis.

I knew I had to change if I ever wanted a chance with Dallas Winston too, I had seen the girls he went after.

With the exception of Cherry Valance, the girls he ended up with were cheap looking and fake, but they were greasers and that put them on the same playing field.

Dallas knew the score and after his brief relationship with Cherry and her unwillingness to acknowledge it, he was done with Socy girls forever.

I wanted to be in Dallas' league so that he could see me as an option.

At the time, I really thought changing was my only chance so I set to it enthusiastically.

I guess the problem was that while I changed my appearance, I changed my attitude too and that's when things started spiraling out of control.

But I couldn't admit that either, I was so stuck in between two worlds that I didn't know how to really fit in either.

So I struggled, trying to fit in and be like the greaser girls I saw in the halls at school.

The same girls who ditched class to smoke outside, who drank on the weekends and went home with boys like Tim Shepard.

I couldn't get Ponyboy's words out of my mind about Dallas not being able to love me.

I figured I would just change myself until he could, until he would.

Johnny looked at me differently now, it was no longer the admiring gaze it had once been but I ignored his change of attitude.

He tried to talk to me once, in his quiet manner, begging me to stop and go back to how I had been.

I shook my head, my eyes blazing with a new found bitterness that came with renouncing the things in life that had made me, me all along.

At school he passed confused and hurt looks with Pony and Two-Bit and I almost felt bad, but then I reminded myself that greaser girls don't feel bad about self-preservation.

It was like a diet and all I needed was willpower.

But I missed my brothers, I missed Two-Bit and the rest of the gang, I missed Johnny's adoring looks and hell I even missed Steve's snide comments. The whole gang had taken to ignoring me until I came out of what they could only imagine and hope was a phase.

Ponyboy tried to talk to me once too, tried to ask me why and I really did try to explain it to him in a half-hearted hope that I could somehow in the end manage to combine my old personality with the new person that I had to become to get the boy I loved.

And he did try to understand, but I barely understood it and I couldn't explain the desperate feeling that was growing so quickly inside me.

Darry and Soda tried to understand too, they even tried to be supportive, until the night that I got so fed up with trying to lead a double life that I told Darry I was going to the movies with Cherry and went to a beer blast on the river bottom instead.

It was the third Friday of my working with Johnny and he had made such amazing progress that he could wobble his way from one end of the couch to the other where I sat waiting, barely holding onto the two tops of the sofas.

I clapped my hands in joy beaming at him.

He smiled back, a real proud smile, and one filled with relief, I had been moody lately and was prone to taking out my bad moods and personality swings on him.

He allowed himself to collapse down onto one of the couches to rest and looked up at me, "Thanks again for all your help Amber, it's only a matter of time before I'm up and walking on my own."

I moved over so that I was sitting next to him, "Yeah, I can't wait to see the expression on the gang's face when you show up walking," I said smoothing out my skirt which was becoming increasingly shorter as the days went on.

"We should do something really shocking to surprise them," He said his eyes shining bright.

I shrugged, as carelessly as possible, "What do you have in mind?"

His eyes literally twinkled and I saw the devil himself sneak into them as he outlined his plan.

When he finished I sat there shocked that he had come up with something so…lurid and shook my head turning down his idea to lure my brothers into my bedroom with fallen clothes, having them find us in bed together, still dressed in our underclothes of course, but implying the dirty deed all the same.

"Unless you want them to put you right back into the chair Johnnycake, I think you better come up with something else," I said with a strained laugh for he was looking at me funny now, really deep like.

I jumped up, "Ready to start again?"

He pulled me back down to him with a strong, firm grip on my wrist so uncharacteristic of him.

"What is it?" I asked looking down at his hand circled around my wrist in genuine surprise.

"Amber, I created a monster and I consider it my responsibility to stop it,"

"Stop what?" I asked dumbly.

He looked down, studying his shoes before turning back to me, his hand moving from my wrist to my thigh. He stared deep into my eyes and I knew there was no ignoring him, his look went straight to my soul and it put me on edge.

"When you said you wanted to change I thought you only meant your appearance, and I didn't even like that much. Now you've gone and changed your whole personality, we can't even recognize you anymore." He said softly

I squirmed under his look and became indignant, "Are you saying you don't like me anymore?"

"I don't like the person you've become, it's like it took over your other personality, your sweet one that we all know you for, it still comes out sometimes, like just before but in a few days I bet even that will be gone."

"You're talking crazy Johnny," I said standing up, "You just don't understand."

"Make me understand," he pleaded

"You couldn't," I said spitefully not caring if I hurt him, "You're one of them, you know where you belong, even if your parents don't want you, at least you fit in with the gang, my parents didn't want me and I don't fit in anywhere. So you guys can tell me all you want that I 'looked fine' and I belonged but I know that's not true!"

"Amber, that's not right…" he started, but didn't get any farther before I ran out of the house slamming the screen door behind me, leaving Johnny sitting on his mismatched couches in the wrong position knowing he'd get a whipping from his mother when she got home and saw.

I ran to my house, tears threatening to fall the whole way but I managed to hold them back and even to put up a happy and carefree front when asking Darry if I could go to the movies that night, just a double date with Cherry and two of our friends from school.

He agreed because it was the most like my old self he had seen in nearly two weeks and I could see he was hopeful that the phase was over despite my shorter skirt and tighter top.

I thanked him and started making dinner, meatloaf and potatoes and to Soda's displeasure, greenbeans.

I changed into one of my old skirts and tops, pulled on the heeled shoes and looked at myself in the mirror, I really did prefer these clothes, I just wasn't comfortable with my body. But just add that to my growing list of insecurities.

My brothers seemed glad to find me at the dinner table on time and dressed in my old attire and they didn't hide their satisfied glances.

I smiled and laughed the whole time but my heart wasn't in it, not while I felt like it was being ripped in two.

I left shortly after pausing at the lot to roll the top of my skirt over a few times to bring it up to a shorter and riskier length and unbuttoned my blouse to reveal a tighter and more form fitting top. I shivered in the cold and hated how the material clung to every curve but I shook it off and crumpled my blouse leaving it tucked behind a rock.

Cherry had told me about the beer blast that was taking place at the river bottom that night and told me she had no intention of going, there were rumors going around that a couple of the greaser gangs from the area would be stopping by to cause some trouble, and I planned to be one of them.

I caught a ride with Curly Shepard that night, I'd been hanging out with him more often, running with his crowd and he had taken to slinging his arm around my waist and bragging to anyone who would listen that I was his girl.

I denied these allegations, claimed we were just friends, which was the truth.

But it wasn't the truth that made its way back to my brothers, it was something they didn't know how to approach since technically I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I was home by curfew and never got myself into trouble.

At least not until that night.

We arrived at the river bottom with four other guys crammed into the backseat of the car Curly had 'borrowed' from Tim.

We were parked a few yards from where the Socs had gathered, music was blaring loudly from someone's car stereo and the smell of alcohol was already strong enough to reach us.

Other souped-up and rusted cars were gathering near us, headlights turned off so as to not give away our spot.

I couldn't help but notice that among Tim's gang which had shown up shortly after us and the other JDs that were also there, no one from my brothers' gang had shown up, and I knew automatically, that they were too good for something like this.

Tim gave Curly an approving nod in my direction after cursing him out for swiping his car, "Glad to see one of us gets to make it with her" He said regardless of the fact that I was standing right there.

My face burned.

"What do you say we trash this nice little gathering, the filthy…"

I looked at the boy who had spoken, he had a trashy girl attached to his arm and my eyebrows raised at the shortness of her skirt. It looked more like a belt.

"You wait here, don't need you getting busted up in the action," Curly said picking me up and placing me on the hood of his car, leaning in and roughly pressing his lips up against mine.

He looked excited, his eyes glowed yellow and I could tell he thrived off of violence and it made my stomach churn.

I offered a weak smile ignoring the nagging feeling inside of me that this was not who I was, nor would it ever be no matter how hard I tried.

He smiled again and reaching in through the open window retrieved a chain the glittered in the moonlight.

I only had a second to reflect on the fact that this particular group of boys had no problem riding in rusted cars but took the time to make sure their weapons were shiny and new, and then Curly smiled again, felt in his pocket for his knife and disappeared into the night.

The only noise I heard for a minute was the music and the girl sitting on the car next to me cracking her gum loudly before the sound of screams and yells were heard.

Girls started flooding through the trees and up the hill, scrambling in their heeled shoes and long skirts for cover.

I closed my eyes tightly wishing I was home again, safe and warm.

Wishing I could be someone different.

It started to rain and I shivered, the kind that racks your whole body and doesn't let go.

Boys were fleeing now, blood streaking down their faces and onto their expensive sweaters and jackets.

Their eyes lit as they saw us girls sitting on the cars, they couldn't whip our boys with their chains and knives, not when they were unprepared, but they could take their revenge, in us.

I wasn't expecting the first blow, but I remember as I lay against the now soaked grass being surprised when a second didn't follow.

Daring to look up I saw in a haze the girl with the short skirt struggling against two guys who were trying to drag her into the wooded area.

A tall figure loomed above me and I screamed as he roughly grabbed me by my elbow and hauled me to my feet.

"Shut up, and go stand behind that tree and wait for me, and for god's sake put this on," He said throwing his large leather jacket at me.

It took me a minute to realize it was Dallas and once I did a warm glow filled me and I followed his instructions oblivious to my throbbing cheek where I'd been hit.

I watched from my tree as he pried the two boys off of the girl and somehow managed to knock them both out cold with the help of some of Tim's gang who had finished their work on the river bottom.

The rain was beating down by then and thunder sounded in the distance.

I was glad for Dallas' jacket, but more so for his presence, he filled me with a warmth I can't even begin to describe.

The socs were all running now and the greasers started to call out to each other the names and addresses of parties to go to now that their main entertainment for the night was over.

I waited while Dallas talked to Tim and they shook hands and as he made his way back to me I tried to smooth my skirt and unknot my tangled, wet hair.

His look was stern though as he took me by the elbow again and ushered me to his car opening the passenger side door and pushing me in without so much as a word.

The heat was on full blast and I could see my hair start to regain its whispy curls before either of us said anything.

He was driving me home quickly and I shuddered to think what he would tell Darry.

"Thanks for helping me," I said after ten minutes of driving in silence.

He grunted, never taking his eyes off the road and the fast thrashing of the windshield wipers.

"You won't tell Darry will you?" I asked.

He stopped the car in the lot, I could see the glow of the light from my house, the TV was flashing, reflected in the front window.

He looked at me really hard like, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I looked at him dumbly, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what makes you think it's ok to run around and drive your brothers wild when they bent over backwards for you, what makes you think you can be an ungrateful bitch?" He asked.

My face flushed brightly, "I…I'm not ungrateful," I sputtered.

He glared at me, "You are a spoiled little bitch"

Tears clogged my eyes as I got out of the car and slammed the door, "Leave me alone! You don't know what I am, or what I've been through," I yelled, my voice barely being heard amongst the rain that was pouring down over me.

He got out of the car slamming his door so roughly he made the whole car shake, "What you've been through?," He said scathingly, "if you'd open up your eyes you'd see how damn lucky you are, you have a family in there that cares about you," He countered.

"I have brothers in there who care about me," I corrected, "My parents are dead, and they didn't want me."

My voice was shaking as the tears started to fall down my face and I was happy for the rain so one could not differentiate between the two.

He sneered at me, "Join the club, your parents did what they thought was right, mine are alive and see me everyday and they don't give a damn if I'm dead or alive, and I ain't got anyone who does."

"That's not true," I protested.

He glared at me and I swallowed hard, the tears still falling freely down my face mingling with the cold rain, "I care."

"I don't need your pity," He said in a hard voice that made me cringe and want to throw my arms around him all at the same time.

"It's not pity you stubborn ass, I changed myself for you, I changed my whole appearance so you'd notice me, I made my brothers hate me, I did it for YOU,"I yelled, before adding in a voice barely above a whisper, "I love you."

He looked at me then, harder than ever before, really steady for what seemed like an hour.

And then I knew, by the expression on his face that he believed me.

I'll never forget how as we both stepped into the light radiating from the headlights of his car, I could see his eyes changing from a hard deep blue to a softer shade more the color of the sky right before dusk, real soft like, the last thing I saw before his lips embraced mine


	24. TWENTY FOUR

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything (with the exception of Amber, of course)

T.W.E.N.T.Y. F.O.U.R.

I wish I could tell you that after that first kiss we lived happily ever after, that I changed back into my old self and the whole gang forgave me for my actions, but unfortunately things rarely end in happily ever after.

Dallas pulled away first, abruptly, like he'd just realized he was kissing a scalding stove and he'd been badly burned.

He didn't say anything, just kept looking down, pacing and then grabbed my arms roughly in his hands and staring at me real hard, before pushing me away again.

He did this three times while I just stood there in a daze and watched him, unsure of what was going on.

The cold was starting to seep in through his jacket but I was stuck, transfixed watching his mental battle.

I knew he didn't want to like me, I knew it without needing to be told. But his kiss made me go weak in the knees and nothing felt more perfect than his arms wrapped around me, and I could tell by the strength of his embrace that he did care.

He had moved to the edge of the lot now, and was staring out across the grass, arms folded, making no move to shield himself from the torrential downpour that was drenching us both.

My tears had finally slowed, but I couldn't stop them completely.

"How'd you know where I was?" I asked timidly, wishing he would just turn around and look at me.

He didn't answer me, but he didn't have to, I could hear the distinctive sound of our run-down truck ratting down the street full speed.

Before I knew it I was surrounded by my brothers, I didn't have to be told that I was in deep shit either, their looks said it all.

"Amber!" Ponyboy yelled, "don't ever do that to me again, I was so worried!" that was all he said before he pulled me into a hug and then promptly lit a cigarette.

I was trembling now, half from the cold and half from the look on Darry's face.

I didn't know how they found out about the beer blast, Ponyboy didn't tell me until later, but they knew and I thanked god that night for Soda and Ponyboys protection as they walked one on either side of me up to the house while Darry's yells reverberated off the nearby houses and woke the neighbors.

Dallas had passed unnoticed, alone and quiet at the edge of the lot.

Before I was led up to the house and into the bathroom to take a hot shower, I took off his jacket and laid it across the hood of his car.

The headlights were still beaming strong and because of them I could make out his silhouette in the moonlight.

My tears continued to fall as I fingered the material of the sleeve and gave him one last lingering look before entering the house.

He never turned around.

I never wanted to leave the safety of the bathroom, I had entered it in a daze only knowing vaguely that the worst of the yelling was yet to come and even worse, that Dallas was still standing in that lot, his jacket on the hood of his car, and that this was not the way it was supposed to be.

I let the hot water wash over me but I couldn't get warm, I had a cold feeling of finality that wouldn't let go, and eventually Darry yelled through the door to get out before we ran out of hot water.

I toweled off slowly, could hear that the whole gang was there now, with the exception of Dallas, and did not hurry to change into the cozy pajamas that Pony had brought into the bathroom for me.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror naked for a minute, scrutinizing every flaw, every blemish to tally up the imperfections that would make Dallas doubt his feelings for me. Tried to understand how these imperfections could lead me to the position I was in now, angry brothers waiting right outside the door.

I sighed, and slipped on the sweatpants and long sleeve Track shirt, they were both Pony's and smelled like our soap. They brought me a strange sense of comfort and only because of this did I finally open the bathroom door to release the built up steam from my shower, and step into the living room.

All eyes fell on me and I was painfully aware that they too were all soaked to the skin.

"Why are y'all wet?" I asked, praying I didn't already know the answer.

"Because, when you pulled your little stunt kiddo, the whole gang went out to try and find you…how could you be so stupid Amber? What has gotten into you?" Darry asked in a sharp voice.

"I…"

"You what? Thought it would be ok to start dressing like a tramp and run around with boys like Curly Shepard, tell lies and get drunk? Is that right Amber?" He yelled.

"I didn't…"

"You're better than that, Amber, this whole family, our whole gang is better than that, what on earth could have possessed you to disregard our reputation. A night with Curly Shepard?"

"I don't like…"

"What do you think we'd do if you got pregnant, we can barely afford what we have now, do you have any idea what so ever the sacrifices made so we could all be together, don't you remember what the judge said when we finally gained custody of you, are you so willing to just throw that away?"

"Darry you won't let me explain!" I protested.

"Well go ahead and explain it to us Amber, please!" He yelled exasperated, "We'd all love to hear why we were all out in the rain looking for you while you had your fun supporting your new love interest as he busted up a party on the river bottom."

I looked around the room, Ponyboy was casting me sympathetic looks, like he almost felt sorry for me, or at least like he understood the pain that came with Darrys' hollering.

Two-Bit looked hurt, and wet and in need of explanation, not so much as to why he had gone out in the rain, he wore his concern for my safety on his sleeve, but for my abrupt change in personality.

Steve had a faint sneer on his face, and I knew if I hadn't been Soda's kid sister he wouldn't have given a hang if I had been beaten to a pulp by a soc that night. Whatever I said that night, he would only use against me.

Johnny's look wrenched my soul and I truly felt sorry for everything I had done, it wasn't an angry look, or even annoyed. It was pure and utter helpless love and it hurt me to know that he ached for me.

Soda couldn't even look at me and I knew I'd hurt him, I could only hope he would forgive me.

Darry hadn't let his cold glare leave my direction for even a second, I doubted he even blinked in the minute that it took me to gather up my strength and control my desire to burst into tears, create a scene, yell that they just didn't understand or do something equally as bratty.

I looked at all of their expectant faces and screwed up my courage, "I wanted to be like y'all, a greaser…I wanted to make Dallas Winston love me," I thought back to his turned back in the lot, his refusal to look at me, his ignoring me so he could control his own emotions, and save himself, "But I know that's not possible now. I'm really sorry, I don't like the person I became, and I don't want to be that person anymore. I never did anything with Curly Shepard but go to the Dingo once or twice with him and his friends, and really, they scare me. I don't want to be a greaser, I just want to be me." I said, as plainly as possible.

I offered them a nervous half smile and tried to judge their faces.

Two-Bit spoke first and broke the tension that had mounted when I uttered the words Dallas Winston and Love in the same sentence.

"So, enough of this new rebel with an attitude?" He asked.

"She's gone," I promised and smiled a real genuine smile at Two-Bit who stepped across the room and hugged me against his cold chest, "Good to have you back Amber."

The rest of the gang followed suite, even Steve. I paused by Johnny, sinking down to my knees and then threw my arms around him as he sat, tall as always, in his wheelchair.

Only I knew that he didn't really need it anymore, that soon he would hopefully be rid of it forever.

I finally released him and kissed him on the cheek gently, "I'm sorry," I whispered brushing my finger down the bruise that ran the length of his left cheek. He didn't have to tell me that it was his mother's doing, it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

He reached up and took hold of my face, cupping it in his two hands and kissed me on the forehead.

I was trembling.

Darry came over and placed a hand on my shoulder, "I think you better get to bed"

I nodded shakily, and stood up.

Soda came over and wrapped his arms around me and then picked me up and carried me into my room, I guess he just knew I needed the protecting then.

"Soda?" I called from my place on the bed where he had laid me down.

"Yes hun?" He asked from the door

"Can you get Ponyboy and the two of you can sleep in my bed again?"

He gave me a doubtful look, but I patted the empty mattress beside me and gave him a pleading look and he gave in, calling to Ponyboy before crawling in next to me.

It was only having them curled around me that kept my silent tears from turning into heart racking sobs.

When I woke up the next morning Soda had already woken up and left for work, he was working a lot of weekends lately trying to make enough money to help Darry pay the bills.

Ponyboy was still splayed across the bed, one arm thrown over me, the other dangling over the floor.

Memories from the night before flooded my mind and I cringed, willing myself not to cry.

Against my will though the tears began to flow and I inched closer to Pony til I was curled up in a ball next to him and could hear the beating of his heart.

Waking up from the sound of my sniffles and the shudder of my body with each racking sob he turned over and looked at me, drawing me closer still and circling his arms around me, "What's wrong Amber?"

I just shook my head as I cried harder than I've ever cried before.

He just held me, muttering soothing words, he didn't need to be told what was wrong after the events of last night but I knew I had to say it outloud, had to get it off my chest, and get over it.

"Dallas found me last night," I mumbled once I finally quieted my tears and regulated my breathing.

"I know," He said trying to untangle my hair with his fingers in order to get it out of my face.

"How did you guys know?" I asked

"Johnny called us, said you were upset and that he thought you were going to do something stupid…we told him you were just going out with Cherry, but when she showed up on our doorstep looking for you and had no clue of any idea about the movies, well we put two and two together, and knew you were actually going to do something stupid, we just didn't know what. Dallas had heard about the beer blast from Tim, was planning to stop by anyway and was only at the house to try and convince Two-Bit to go with him. He offered to look for you there while the rest of us checked around town." He explained, "I still can't believe you did that."

"I'm sorry," I whispered

"Just promise me, no more of that Amber, go back to who you were, we all loved you that way, I felt like I didn't even know you these past two weeks."

"I promise Pony, I really promise," I said.

"Now, tell me what happened with Dallas,"

I didn't question how he had known something happened, I figured my face had given it away.

"He saved me from some Soc who hit me," I started.

"I was wondering what had happened, you have a tough looking bruise there," He said gently tracing my cheekbone.

"I do?" I asked, I had forgotten the pain of the initial blow and hadn't thought much more of it after my encounter with Dallas.

I guess it had appeared during the night, even Pony's gentle fingers made it ache.

"So what happened after that?" He asked.

I thought back, closing my eyes tight, "He drove me to the lot, and called me selfish and said a lot of mean and awful things, some of which were true, because I was being selfish. I got angry, I got out of the car and I yelled at him, he didn't know how I felt and what I was going through. He yelled back and before I knew it, oh Pony," I said burying my face in my hands.

"What?" He asked, prying my hands away from my face

"I told him I loved him, he just looked at me Pony, for so long, and it was so cold and so wet and then something clicked and…"

"And?" He pressed.

"He kissed me," I whispered.

Something in Ponyboy changed then, I can't quite put my finger on it, something in his eyes, it looked like hate and anger mixed into a tight little ball.

It passed quickly, but it still scared me.

"But you're right Pony, you're right, he can't love because he walked away from me and he never looked back Pony."

"I'm sorry Amber, I didn't want to be right," He said soothingly.

I stifled my tears and bit on my lip to keep it from trembling, "It's ok, it'll be ok," I said.

"Yeah," he said with a smile, "it will"

After that first morning after the 'incident' as I began to call it, I tried to put it all behind me and instead I concentrated on helping Johnny, getting my grades back up, and restoring my friendship with those around me. Anything to return to my old self and to forget about Dallas Winston.

He was keeping his distance pretty good at this point, nobody mentioned him for my benefit but I knew they all missed him and I felt guilty once again for continuing to create waves in my brothers' lives.

Johnny asked me out on the day of our last session together after school. He had walked straight across the room unaided and planted a kiss on my lips that felt like the flutter of butterfly wings, real soft.

I could tell it had taken all of his courage and I was so flustered myself that when he asked me to go to the movies I automatically said yes.

It was the best decision I had made, my mind was off of Dallas when I was with him and it was an automatic ticket back into the hearts of the gang.

They'd been pulling for Johnny all along after all.

And Johnny took care of me, he really cared and after shocking the gang into total and utter silence by walking in the door - with me in his arms - we began to double date with Ponyboy and this girl Patty from school, who unbeknownst to me, Pony had had a crush on for some time.

Dallas had started to come around again, but we never spoke a word beyond polite conversation while he waited for the bathroom after waking up on our couch, or while he waited for one of my brothers.

I still felt guilty though, for a number of reasons; Dallas was Johnny's hero, and now they were at odds, speaking only strained words. It was Dallas' fault of course, and I hated him for it.

But I felt a deeper guilt, one that I couldn't displace by hating Dallas, and that was the fact that I knew I still loved him. I was leading Johnny on and it ate at me more and more everyday.

But when I was in his arms, lying on our couch or stretched out on the grass by the lot, when he brought me flowers and let his adoring eyes fall on me, peering out from under his shaggy brown hair, I could forget about Dallas then.

But I knew, I did not want to forget about Dallas, and for that I suffered.

Johnny loved me though, and he told me so one night while we were out eating alone.

I stared at him a long time, across the red checked tablecloth, over the vase of flowers and the breadbasket.

I stared.

And with all of my will and effort I spoke the words back to him, determined to have it be so.


	25. TWENTY FIVE

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I still don't own much.

T.W.E.N.T.Y. F.I.V.E.

I lived this masquerade for over two months, a much longer sum of time than you originally asked me to outline I know.

However it hardly seemed fair sir, to leave you wondering as to whether I ever figured myself out, and I think you knew that which is why you gave me this extension.

I wanted so badly to be happy, I suppose most people just want to be happy, but it's just not that easy is it?

Johnny continued to be faithful to me, and I to him.

Physically anyway.

I couldn't keep my mind from wandering from deep brown eyes to brooding blues at night.

I couldn't stop myself from pretending every so often that the arms around me belonged to a tow-headed boy with an elfish, reckless face as opposed to the soft and timid brown ones that held me so softly.

His kisses were like a summer breeze but I yearned for the crushing force of the angry boy's lips that had kissed me once, with such passion in the rain haloed by headlights for just a brief moment in time.

Despite myself, I clung to that moment. It was, metaphorically, my life raft in the flood of love for Dallas that constantly threatened to overcome me.

But I couldn't hurt Johnny, not when he cared so much and Dallas so little.

I could never do anything to hurt Johnny.

Instead, I put on a happy face, and wondered, plaintively while we watched the stars cross the night sky on a warm May evening, if I would ever really be able to be myself.

Johnny tightened his embrace and kissed me on the cheek, whispering the words that chained me to him, "I love you"

I knew then, with some sort of horrible certainty that being myself was out of the question.

I would rather lie in front of a train and be run over than hurt Johnny who had managed to overcome his horrible home life and see that someone could love him even if his parents didn't.

I had to be that person, it was my destiny.

Dallas was not.

He would go on living without the supreme knowledge that Johnny had possessed for so long and finally shed upon me.

That love could overcome anything.

I could see the startling evidence of it in every other member of the gang.

Johnny had learned to walk again for love of not only me, but for his love of life and all that it had to offer.

Darry was willing to give up his dreams of college and work mercilessly, making him old before his time because he loved us, his family. His love was strong enough to smother, if not dissolve completely the bitter feelings he harbored over his unnoted intelligence and overemphasized brawn.

Two-Bit made his way through his tough life by his love for seeing the humor in everything. For his love of making us laugh even when we're at our lowest point. Two-Bit loved to laugh, and in my opinion a sense of humor coupled with the ability to love is unbeatable.

Steve Randle, who I had reconciled my bad feelings towards, loved to work hard, and to show off his skills. He loved his girlfriend (for reasons still unfathomable to me) and though he would never admit it, he really loved his father. It was because of this that he kept himself out of the gang fights that otherwise called appealingly to him.

Soda, god, what could one really say about Soda except that he really and truly loved life and along with Johnny, is the only one who has known all along what took me so long to learn.

And Ponyboy, my twin, my best friend, I don't feel I did our relationship justice in this composition. Without him I never would have made it, and he told me the same thing. He told me one night, after the gang had all gone home and I had come in from the porch where I'd been saying goodnight to Johnny, his troubled secret that I had set out to discover months before when I'd noticed his strange behavior.

I had assumed, after reading Ponyboy's composition that what I had been noticing was the continuing effects of what Pony himself had described at the end of his assignment.

He was in shock, and who wouldn't be.

His best friend a cripple, a murderer, he himself nearly drowned and the self accused person to blame for the whole affair.

It was amazing he wasn't in therapy in my opinion.

But it was more than that, he couldn't understand how bad things happened to good people, even though he had lived it his whole life.

He looked at me that night though, and he smiled, "Good things happen to good people too Amber, that's what I know now. Because I have you, and Johnny does too."

Dallas would never know how it felt to be loved so dearly.

I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, I had tried, but I had failed.

I had to count my losses and move on, and I renewed the vow I made to myself that first night that Johnny told me he loved me and snuggled closer to him still, "I love you too Johnny."

He smiled at me then, but it was a real sad smile and he sat up leaving me alone on the grass, "no you don't."

I got real cold then despite the warm night and sat up too, taking his face in my hands and staring at him for a minute before kissing him with all of the emotion I could produce.

He didn't argue again, just lay me back down and kissed each of my eyelids slowly, deliberately, causing a chill to run up my spine.

I lay my head on his chest that night and listened to his heart beat strong, rhythmically and thought fleetingly that at fifteen I should not have to be faced with these sort of feelings.

I thought of Fred and the daisy he had brought me when I was recovering from my scare in the alley, I wanted that sort of childish relationship of daisies, not roses.

I knew though, that Ponyboy and I were cursed beings, we felt things deeper than most people, daisies weren't an option.

Things were different after that night, Johnny and I continued to play a couple falling more in love with every passing day. We still went to school and congratulated each other on our triumphs and consoled the others failures. We went out with Pony and Patty, who really were in the midst of a budding romance and acted like we were also in that blissful state of happy.

But that night in the grass stayed with us, at the strangest times his words would come back to me, "no you don't" and I had to wonder why, if he knew, he continued to pretend.

Or why I continued to pretend, why I continued with such vigor that I nearly convinced myself that I did love him and ran to him one night to tell him so.

I found him out in the lot, staring at my house, and came skidding to a halt.

I had planned on going over to his, risking the wrath of his mother so as to march up to him and tell him that I loved him.

I never got the chance, I found him staring, not making a move to come in.

He seemed startled with my presence, and even more disturbed with my abrupt motion to throw my arms around him.

He grabbed my wrists and placed my arms gently back at my sides, "No, Amber"

I looked at him strangely, "Johnny, I have to tell you something," I started, stepping closer to him.

He didn't object, "I love…"

"Dallas," he finished for me.

"You…" the words died on my lips and I shook my head, "No, Johnny, No."

"Yes, Amber," he said looking at me and looking stronger and more confident than I had ever seen him.

"Johnny, why are you doing this?" I asked wanting nothing more than to throw my arms around him, to feel his arms around me.

"Because," he said slowly, looking me square in the eye, "I could never live with myself knowing that I was keeping you with me out of guilt."

"It's not guilt, Johnny,"

"It's not love, Amber,"

Tears started to gather in my eyes, "What are you trying to say Johnny, you don't love me?" I asked

He shook his head, a wry smile on his face, "Amber, I will love you forever, and because I love you, I know that we can't be together."

The tears began to fall and rushed down my face, cascading down my nose which had not stopped turning up despite my pressing down.

He brushed them aside with his thumb, gently and looked at me with those deep brown eyes, "Go to Dallas, Amber, he has your heart, not me."

He let me encircle his neck with my arms and hug him close, kissing him on the cheek before he pulled away, "Either get your heart back Amber, or make him value it as much as I would have, either way, make sure you're happy."

"Thank you, Johnny," I whispered

"Goodbye, Amber," He said before turning and walking off into the night.

Nobody could dare to say Johnny wasn't gallant, he was as gallant as they came and I stood watching him as a shadow emerged out of the night and stepped into the moonlight almost as soon as he had disappeared out of sight.

I stifled a gasp as Dallas' form became clear, he stopped a few feet away from me and we watched each other while I wondered briefly if this was fate's divine way of intervening.

I didn't know what to say to him, what was really left to say, I couldn't make him love me any easier than Johnny could make me love him.

I shivered, the wind was picking up and my hair flew into hectic curls and wrapped around me mimicking my hectic feelings.

Dallas didn't make a move to get any closer nor did he speak and I wondered if maybe he just wanted to get into the house and talk to my brothers and I was holding him there.

I tried to move but found myself rooted to where I stood.

Another gust of wind nearly choked me as my hair flew wildly around my neck and whipped my face but something in that moment brought back a whirl of memories and I was defenseless as they flooded my mind.

My first night in Tulsa, meeting Dallas, those eyes and how they captivated me with their troubled depths and brilliant color.

Dallas, coming to get me from the Masters' to bring me to my brothers in one of my worst times of loneliness, risking getting caught because he 'had the least to lose' and they way he continued to come and get me everyday that I was stuck there.

The way I had felt when Cherry had told me she was in love with Dallas Winston, like all the air had gone out of me. And what I did to try and avenge my ignored feelings when I saw Dallas and Cherry in the alley, when Dallas had saved my life and I turned my brothers against him ruthlessly.

The way he forgave me, and defended my reputation by beating up Jake and then helped me perfect my back handsprings, coming to my game and actually looking proud.

How he looked at me that night outside when he was drunk and gave me his coat and asked me about Johnny, his smile that night when I told him nothing was going on between us and tucked him into the couch and watched him fall asleep.

And then that night, when he had saved my life again, our fight in the lot and our kiss.

I don't know why I never put these events into any successive order, but it seemed plain to me now, Dallas loved me, he had to.

I looked at him evenly, and he started back from across the lot unblinkingly.

The next gust of wind seemed to push us together as if nature wanted to hurry up the inevitable and the next second he had swept me up in his arms crushing me against his chest, his face buried in my hair.

He didn't need to speak the words, I knew he felt them, and having said them would have seemed unreal and highly uncharacteristic.

His lips against mine felt like fireworks and he picked me up, my arms and legs circling his torso as I kissed him again, no force of emotion needed.

We settled down onto the grass some time after that, I have no concept of the minutes and hours that passed that night from the time Johnny left and Dallas entered, I didn't need to know, I was utterly happy and time didn't hold much importance.

I shivered again, despite his embrace and he kissed my neck before peeling off his jacket and wrapping it around me, "Never will remember your jacket," he mumbled with a soft laugh.

I shrugged carelessly and moved closer to him knowing we were both entering into something we'd never encountered.

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew I wasn't like the other girls he had dated, it was what had kept us apart in the first place. I was different, and he had to treat me differently. For the first time in his life, he wanted to care about something other than himself, and I tingled with pleasure knowing that it was me.

I guess you might be wondering what my love overcame, I think it should be fairly obvious now. My love overcame Dallas' animosity, his uncertainty, and my own fear of being different.

His overcame the same.

That night as Dallas and I said goodnight on the porch I made to take off his jacket, he stopped me and with a smirk kissed me quickly, "Keep it," he said striding off the porch and back across the lot, but this time he turned around and with another signature smirk watched as I disappeared into the one place I could finally call home and to the people I could call family.

The End


	26. EPILOGUE

Five for Fighting

Five for Fighting

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: Nothing

A/N: Well this is it, the last finishing touch. I really want to thank everyone who reviewed, especially those of you who reviewed A LOT, it was really really helpful and all of my motivation came from your encouragement. I wish I could list you all by name, but I think you all know who you are. Thanks again :)

EPILOGUE

I reread that composition nearly twenty times after I finished it. It took me a long time to decide weather or not to go back and change some of the details, to make myself seem less ignorant and to remove some of the private moments that had slipped in. I decided against it, this composition was more like a diary and nothing could explain my shaky transition better. I handed it in to my teacher as it was, dumb mistakes, intimate details, ignorance and all.

It came back to me a week later with a big A in red marker on the top.

It's being kept along with Pony's composition in a locked box where Darry keeps things like our social security cards and other important stuff. He says in years to come, we'll be glad to be able to go back and read what we'd written.

I hope I won't need the written reminder, I hope Dallas will still be with me, and my family and the rest of the gang. With them around me, I'll never need to be reminded.

And as for my ignorance, I'd rather forget.

Johnny and I haven't talked much since that night, but I heard from Ponyboy that our English teacher requested he document the next few months, his 'path to recovery', to make up for all of his missed time, starting late in the year and all.

I'm starting to think my English teacher is one lonely man if he wants to read about us so much, but then again, upon reading Pony's composition and then mine, I guess we are pretty interesting.

I hope I make it into Johnny's composition, meaning I hope I'm in his future and he doesn't shut me out. Because even if I don't love him the way I love Dallas, there is an undeniable part of my heart that will always belong to Johnny Cade. And I don't think I could live without him.

"Amber, I told you to shut off the light and go to sleep!" Darry yelled from the living room, rustling the newspaper pages as he shifted in his armchair.

"Darry, don't you think I'm old enough yet to make up my own bedtime?" She whined from her room, closing her journal and sticking her head out the door to peer at him innocently.

"No, now get to bed, and you too Pony," He added as Pony threw a quick grin at Amber and closed the door to his and Soda's room.

"Night Darry," Amber said with a smile running over to give him a hug before retreating to her room, burying herself under the covers, a soft breeze coming in from the window.

Through the wall she could hear Darry getting washed up in the bathroom and the soft snore that drifted in which could only belong to Soda.

A smile still on her face, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Dallas and Johnny, friends again, her brothers, all happy, and the rest of the gang living with them in a big house, somewhere in tomorrow.

-- Hm, do I smell a sequel, in Johnny's POV perhaps? Let me know if you're interested –

I am, in fact, working on a sequel called "Road to Recovery"


End file.
